Translator: Dj22031
Editor: Dj22031
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Before long, devout followers of the Taicang Sect came to the door in groups. The first group to bring back the image of the Celestial Venerable, Granny Wang and Granny Liu, came to fulfill their vows. After offering incense, they thanked Wei Xi with tears of gratitude: “Xiao Xi, the Celestial Venerable in your temple is truly efficacious! I only brought the Celestial Venerable home not long ago, and my athlete’s foot was cured. My friend’s constipation has also been cured. I really don’t know how to thank you enough.”
Before Wei Xi could speak, Wei Tianyi, who was taking off his coat after work, spoke up. Wei Tianyi was speechless. Asking a deity to cure athlete’s foot and constipation was already absurd, but what was wrong with people these days? Why not believe in science when you’re sick? “Aunt Wang, what’s the use of praying to a deity for athlete’s foot? You should go buy medicine for athlete’s foot!”
Grandma Wang: “Yes, I bought it a long time ago.”
Wei Tianyi felt even more helpless: “So your athlete’s foot was cured by medicine, what does it have to do with some enlightened celestial being?”
Grandma Wang looked at him with strong disapproval: “Without an enlightened celestial being, how can that athlete’s foot medicine work?”
Others might not know, but didn’t she know herself? This chronic athlete’s foot had plagued her for over a decade, and she didn’t know the cause, nor could any medicine cure it. She was truly desperate and resorted to an unorthodox approach, only to have the enlightened celestial being arrange the herbs, and lo and behold, it was miraculous! It was the same as soaking in medicine, but the lesions were naturally eliminated.
At first, her family members had some reservations about her worshipping the Taoist deity, but after seeing the tangible results, they finally stopped talking. In addition, after Old Mrs. Wang’s health improved, besides praying for her own health, she would sometimes also pray for the health of her family members.
So, whether it was a divine intervention or not, her little granddaughter, who had always been weak and sickly since birth and would inevitably fall ill every winter, was surprisingly lively and energetic this year, without even a sneeze.
Her family members were now completely convinced and were even offering incense more frequently than she did herself. They made fresh braised pork every day as an offering, hoping that the Heavenly Venerable would continue to protect their peace.
But Wei Tianyi was unaware of the inside story, and upon hearing Old Lady Wang’s reply, he could only express his complicated feelings with “………………”.
He really didn’t make a mistake. Those who believed Wei Xi’s nonsense were indeed crazy. This was a perfect example.
Wei Tianyi, petty and still harboring resentment about the hormone-treated fish from a few days ago, became furious upon seeing this: “It’s hopeless, it’s all hopeless.”
How could these idiots believe in such baseless nonsense? All that ghosts and gods and gibberish made him feel terrible until he saw the latest episode of “Believe in Science” shared by a friend on his WeChat Moments, which cheered him up a bit.
The latest episode’s summary was incredibly captivating: “Shocking! Cities east of the Yellow River are suddenly flooded! A typhoon unexpectedly hits a coastal city in winter! Residents along the river capture a mysterious dragon silhouette! Is the appearance of a real dragon a collapse of science or a distortion of the camera? The ‘Believe in Science’ team risks their lives to uncover the truth!”
Wei Tianyi was initially taken aback when he saw it. A dragon?! How could that be? But after looking down at the comments, he calmed down. The most upvoted comments on the public account were all negative.
“I’m publicly cursing this show! I practically took my pants off and this is what you show me?!”
“Terrible! The first 45 minutes were all setup, building up the atmosphere to such a high and mysterious level, and they even spent ages explaining how eerie typhoons are and how suspenseful the dragon shadow is, and talked a lot about the significance of real dragons to the country and the nation. I was even ready to pay my respects, but then in the last five minutes they told me that what was filmed was a water snake?!”
“23333[1] is indeed the consistent style of ‘Believe in Science’. I was so naive to actually have any expectations.”
“I, a long-time viewer who has been proven wrong 101 times, swear that I will never believe the show’s nonsense again.”
Wei Tianyi snorted coldly. What unrealistic things are these ignorant fools expecting?
His mindset was completely different from that of the audience; he was like a pure and innocent white lotus flower amidst a sea of sluts. Thinking of this, he immediately gave the production team a big thumbs up with righteous indignation, and replied—
“That’s right! The production team has worked hard. There’s nothing wrong with telling the truth and upholding science! Besides, it’s obvious when you think about it, how could there possibly be such a thing as a dragon in the world! Don’t pay attention to those foolish voices. Our great nation is still ignorant. Your science popularization activities are indeed a long and arduous task. Please keep up the good work!”
After posting this comment, he ignored the criticisms from other netizens, promptly closed the public account, and turned to his eldest son, who was still dragging the country down, coldly cursing, “Disgraceful wretch.”
Wei Xi had no time to pay attention to his resentment, because Mr. Gu, whom he hadn’t seen for many days, finally called him.
Mr. Gu’s voice sounded weak on the other end of the phone, as if he hadn’t slept well for several days, but he brought some truly good news.
Wei Xi hung up the phone, a rare look of joy appearing on his face. Aunt Wang, a believer standing nearby, saw this and asked curiously, “Xiao Wei, what’s the matter?”
Wei Tianyi then heard Wei Xi say to her, “It’s nothing, we just filmed an advertisement before, and now it’s finally going to be released.”
….
Wei Tianyi was taken aback, having already forgotten the information he had received before the physical examination: “An advertisement??”
Grandma Wang was also overjoyed to hear this: “It is indeed a great thing. The censorship is so strict now, it is not easy to get an advertisement approved.”
Wei Xi thought to himself, “That’s right, it took a lot of effort.” He immediately grabbed the remote and turned on the TV, while waving his hand to Tuan Tuanyi: “Quickly, quickly, inform the fellow Daoists of the Association and our company’s employees.”
Tuan Tuanyi quickly accepted the order, not only informing the Zhiyou employees but also taking the time to post a joyous update on his phone to inform the fans of Taicang Sect’s milestone. Wei Xi turned on the TV to the general channel and started timing according to the information provided by Mr. Gu. When Grandma Wang saw the channel logo, she exclaimed, “Wow, Xiao Wei, it’s an official channel! This must be prime time for ratings, right? Advertising slots in this time slot are hard to get.”
Wei Xi nodded, which showed that Mr. Gu’s superior was truly concerned about this matter.
Grandma Wang then asked, “By the way, Xiao Wei, what kind of commercial did you film?”
Wei Xi thought for a moment and summarized, “It’s some business within the sect. The content is quite complicated, but it’s mainly about recruiting workers.”
Grandma Wang seemed confused. Hiring? What kind of jobs was Taicang Sect hiring for? Wei Tianyi, on the other hand, reacted more quickly. He knew his son usually ran some strange businesses, like haunted houses, and going on TV to increase his fame and recruit workers was a good way to do it.
As luck would have it, the TV was showing the latest episode of “Believe in Science ,” which had been heavily criticized recently. The most tense and exciting part had passed, and the program was about to end. The truth behind the mysterious dragon shadow filmed in the lower reaches of the Yellow River was revealed, which amazed Grandma Wang: “I never expected this, I really never expected this.”
“What’s there to be surprised about? I guessed this was the truth a long time ago. Only people like you who don’t understand would think such nonsense.” Wei Tianyi felt that he was the only one who was sober while everyone else was drunk. After scolding the feudal old lady, he did not forget to warn his son, “See? You good-for-nothing. I advise you to stop now. Watch more of these kinds of programs, learn some scientific knowledge, understand the voice that the country wants to express, and shut down your messy and broken sect as soon as possible.”
Old Mrs. Wang’s eyes widened: “Don’t talk nonsense. How could the Taicang Sect be a complete mess? The Celestial Venerable who attained enlightenment is clearly very powerful.”
Wei Tianyi’s face turned extremely sour: “What do you mean by ‘spiritual’? I think you are all stubborn and incorrigible. Just watch, if you continue to promote feudal superstition like this, I will report him for righteousness one day.”
Pointing to a department in the closing slogan list of “Believe in Science,” he said, “See this department? This TV, this channel— it’s specifically there to deal with you!”
As soon as the words were spoken, the screen blurred, and the “Believe in Science” segment finally ended, ushering in the commercial break.
Grandma Wang took out her phone to take a picture: “It’s here! It’s here!”
Wei Tianyi stood beside the sofa, exuding an air of authority, his eyes scrutinizing. He had been extremely upset earlier, but his mood had only improved slightly now.
That’s right. If you’re going to do business, do it properly, in a steady and methodical way. No matter what you do, you have to follow the core socialist values in order to gain mainstream recognition. As for what the mainstream recognizes, the “Believe in Science” program that just ended was the best example.
He lowered his eyes to ponder this, but suddenly felt something was wrong. What was that sound coming from the television?
Wei Tianyi immediately snapped out of his daze, glanced at the screen, and then let out a long “…………”
On the huge screen, a group of people dressed in Taoist robes were chanting incantations while holding ritual implements. In the background, some strange song was being sung. The Taoists were very busy fighting with a group of guys who seemed to be villains.
The group of villains swayed and drifted around, their bodies shrouded in black mist and their faces contorted in a ferocious manner, unlike anything that resembled a human.
The fight was extremely intense, but the Taoists had the upper hand. These Taoists were very handsome and their movements were very graceful. They killed the attacking ghosts one by one with their swords, and in the blink of an eye, they pierced through them.
The scene was disjointed and confusing, almost like a promotional trailer for a new drama. Suddenly, the camera shifted, and a handsome Taoist priest turned to look at the camera, his sexy, magnetic, and husky voice asking, “What should I do if I’m afraid of ghosts?”
The camera panned to the next Taoist priest, who was dark-skinned but equally handsome, and asking lazily, “What if I’m afraid of demons?”
A handsome young Taoist priest behind him then asked with a grin, “What should I do if the feng shui of my home is bad?”
The camera then zoomed out, showing both sides shouting in unison as they fought: “Of course! We! Seek! Taicang! Sect!”
Narrator: “Taicang Sect! A thousand-year-old sect! A long history! A renowned brand! Passed down through sixty-two generations! Worthy of trust!”
Taoist priests: “What do we do when we have nowhere to go on the weekend?”
“What if the date setting isn’t original enough?”
“What if I’ve already had all the recommended stimuli checked out?”
As they fought, both sides shouted in unison once more: “Of course! We! Seek! Taicang! Sect!”
Narrator: “Taicang Sect! A state-of-the-art haunted house! Ample investment! Diverse themes! Excellent staff! Top-notch service!”
Taoist priests: “What do I do if my partner cheats on me and I have no proof?”
“What should I do if I’m worried about being scammed in business partnerships?”
“What do I do when I don’t know where to start in fighting counterfeits and protecting my rights?!”
They shouted in unison, “Of course! We! Must! Find! Taicang! Sect!”
Narrator: “Taicang Zong! Legal tax payment! Legal investigation! Public place! Guaranteed to be conducted in broad daylight! Absolutely no infringement on rights!”
Blah blah blah, blah blah blah.
After chanting for a while, the Taoists’ opponents were finally defeated, clutching their chests and collapsing to the ground, barely alive. The camera zoomed in, and seeing their crooked eyes, it was almost certain that they were ghosts.
The leader, a sinister-looking ghost, stared at the camera, a bewildered expression on his terrifying face: “Taicang Sect… is it really that powerful?!”
A teammate crawled up behind him and said, “Of course, I’ve heard about it too. It’s such a great place, Your Majesty. We’re free from work, so why don’t we go and take a look?”
In the blink of an eye, the previously ragged villainous boss had transformed into a well-dressed man. Though still sinister, he now exuded the air of a successful businessman, surrounded by his henchmen. He warmly greeted the Taoist priests, shaking their hands and saying, “Thank you for finding us such a good job.”
Both of them turned to the camera at the same time, smiling.
“Taicang Sect! Famous Trademark! Guaranteed Quality! Excellent Benefits! Trustworthy!”
The camera captured a sea of joy, but what happened outside the frame—
Wei Tianyi: “…………”
The Taoist priests who received the good news and watched the advertisement on TV were also left speechless.
All the innocent viewers in front of their televisions: “…”
The comments section of Taicang Sect’s Weibo post was filled with confused fans and followers who were informed of the advertisement: “…”
The cultural affairs department officials, staring blankly at the television and smoking, left speechless.
?????
What on earth was this thing?!
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[1] “23333” is Chinese internet slang that means “hahaha” or “LOL,” used to express laughter or amusement.
