TBLF Ch. 65

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Qi Ying did not even finish her homework, before she began to move Ji Xiaorang into his new home.

She bought a cage three times the size of the cage he had before, laid a new nest, put the rollers and toys in it, and then carefully held Ji Xiaorang and put it in.

The little hamster seemed to like his new home very much. He jumped up and down in the cage, stepped on the rollers and pushed the ball, and had a great time. Qi Ying lay down on the table looking at it and remembered the little pony the general had given her before.

At that time, the nanny also laughed at the general, saying that the nobles in Beijing kept pets like rare Persian cats, and no one kept ponies as pets.

But Qi Ying still liked it. She personally arranged a stable in her courtyard, fed the foal with grass and bristles every day, and talked to him as if he could understand her.

Later the little pony grew up a bit, and obediently bowed to let her climb on its back. She didn’t dare to run far, so she rode her pony around in the general’s house and had a lot of fun too.

Who said that the general did not know how to give gifts? It was much more fun than any Persian cat.

She just didn’t know what happened to the little pony after her death.

When she arrived at school the next day, everyone was discussing the evening party to be organized by the school on May Fourth next month, during self-study. Yue Li put up a book and excitedly said to her: “I heard that there will be a ceremony for students to join the group during the day. In response to national policies, this evening party will definitely be very grand.”

Sure enough, after class, monitor Chen Mengjie took the list and asked one by one: “Are there any special programs? Can anybody play any musical instruments?”

When asked to the study committee member Huang Botong, he said: “My specialty is learning.”

All the students around him wanted to hit him.

Apart from sports, Yue Li was active in everything: “Squad leader! Me, me! I can play the clarinet!”

Chen Mengjie nodded and wrote her name: “Then which songs do you play? Can you play pop songs? We can gather students who know musical instruments together and play a pop song.”

As a result, Yue Li said: “I can play twinkle, twinkle little star and happy new year.”

Then Chen Mengjie just crossed out her name, and asked Qi Ying: “Yingying, do you have any specialties? Just forget about the clarinet.”

Qi Ying said softly, “Is Guqin[1] OK?”

Chen Mengjie was surprised: “Wow, you can play Guzheng? Not bad, very special, I will write it down for you!”

Qi Ying corrected her: “It’s not Guzheng, it’s Guqin, it’s different.”

After entering the general’s mansion that year, she lived in the courtyard alone for a long time. The general had been fighting abroad all the year round. He was afraid that she would be bored. So, he specially invited the Beijing guqin master to teach her how to play the guqin.

Chen Mengjie waved indifferently: “Oh, it’s all an artistic conception anyway, you are playing! You have been booked by me!”

After speaking, she continued to find other students.

Yue Li looked at her enviously: “Yingying, you can still play the guqin? Guqin is difficult to learn? Why didn’t you learn the piano?”

Curricular activities always aroused the students’ interest more than learning. The discussion topics in the school all day were the May Fourth Evening and the performances of each class. They heard that this program will be ranked, and the top three will be rewarded.

The literary and artistic committee member of Class 9 had long since had no hope for the unscrupulous teenagers in the back row of the classroom, but Ji Rang was so handsome, she still wanted to approach him and say a few words as she had the opportunity.

She took the list and asked, “Student Ji Rang, do you have any specialties?”

Ji Rang, expressionless: “Fighting.”

The literary committee member ran away crying.

When going to the dessert shop after school to do homework, Qi Ying also broached this topic. She took the test paper out and asked him: “Will you participate in the May Fourth Party?”

Ji Rang said: “I won’t join in the fun, there are still a lot of papers that have not been written.”

He looked up at the girl with well-behaved eyebrows on the opposite side, his fingers tightened, and then looked down at the chemistry test paper in front of him. After a long time, he made up his mind and pushed the paper towards her, and said in a deep voice: ” Yingying, teach me.”

Qi Ying looked at him in surprise.

Ji Rang had never asked her any academic questions.

Acting as if he didn’t ask, she would not know that he was a poor student with messy grades.

He tried to maintain his image in front of her, and she never tried to question it.

But today, Ji Rang suddenly threw away the baggage of being an idol. He looked at her generously and showed her the shortcomings he had always hidden: “These questions are so difficult; I don’t know how to do them.”

Qi Ying blinked, realizing that he was not joking.

Although it was a little weird, but she was still very happy, she took his paper, looked down, and said softly: “Well, let me take a look. Let’s start with the first big topic, okay?”

Ji Rang laughed: “Okay.”

She bent her eyes, got up and walked over to him to sit down, holding the blue whale pen and writing on the paper: “Let’s take a look at the simple structure of acetic acid in this question.”

He smelled the faint sweet smell of her.

The little girl’s ears are delicate, shiny and pink. When she lowers her head, her jaw and neck are beautifully curved. The double temptation of vision and smell provoked his nerves over and over again.

She held the pen and wrote the answer in that column: “So, the atomic group formed by b and c is a carboxyl group. Understand? “

What did he have to understand?

His head was full of her.

He knew that he couldn’t let her talk to herself, but he couldn’t focus on studying at all!

Ji Rang forced himself to look at the test paper on the table, and said in a dumb voice, “I understand.”

She laughed happily, “Well, then let’s talk about the second question.”

It was reward and torture all in one.

Finally finishing the whole paper, she looked up and asked him: “Any questions?”

Ji Rang moved his Adam’s apple.

The problem was big.

He lowered his head and laughed, his voice a little low: “No, Yingying speaks very well, I understand everything.”

Her eyes were shining.

He also said: “Will you teach me questions every week from now on? Help me get into college.”

She was a little surprised, not that she didn’t notice the boy’s weakness in front of her. In fact, he has always been very domineering, and always so strong in front of her, that him suddenly showing this side, it made her feel that she is desperately needed by him.

But the boy’s expression was so serious. She looked at him for a while, then smiled sweetly: “Okay.”

Then Wu Rui lost his job.

Ji Rang also explained to him: “We will be in the third year of high school soon, and your own homework is also very important. Don’t waste time and delay studying because of me.

Wu Rui: “You don’t need to explain, I understand, I’m just a victim of your love.”

Ji Rang: “???”

First ranker, what idol drama did you watch recently?

Qi Ying used to do homework and read books at home on weekends, but now she is going to give Ji Rang tutoring, and the two of them simply made an appointment at the cafe to do their homework together. After all, they were in the same class in the elective subjects, and the homework assigned by the teacher is the same.

Ji Rang was very thankful that his foundation had been laid, and he would not ask the same questions that were very retarded that he used to ask when Wu Rui gave him tutoring before.

Mathematics, which had previously caused him so much headache, had now become his favorite subject. On the contrary, geography, which belonged to the liberal arts, had become the new devil tormenting him.

Qi Ying was not partial to any subject. Her grades were really good. She was patient and serious when teaching him a topic. Unlike Wu Rui’s serious mien, she would tilt her head to reflect on herself when he said that he didn’t understand. Was the solution she was talking about too complicated? And then she would say, “Let us change to a simple topic and let me think about it.”

Ji Rang was about to die by her cuteness.

While staring at the little girl’s obedient profile, a man sat down on the sofa opposite them and said with a smile, “Oh, two kids, are you doing homework?”

Ji Rang was taken aback, “Why are you here?”

Chen Fengzhi took a sip of coffee and said, “I just met a friend here. It’s a coincidence. Are you doing homework here? Are you working so hard?” He stretched out his hand to Qi Ying, “Hello little sister, I’m Ji Rang’s brother-in-law, Chen Fengzhi.”

Ji Rang: “???”

Are you shameless?

Qi Ying shyly touched his fingertips and whispered: “Hello, my name is Qi Ying.”

Ji Rang didn’t shows a good face to him: “If you have something to say, say it and get out if you have nothing to do. Don’t disturb us doing homework.”

Chen Fengzhi saw through him with a glance: “Little sister is doing homework, do you need me to point out where you are going wrong?”

Ji Rang wanted to punch someone and stared at him gloomily, warning him not to talk nonsense.

Chen Fengzhi raised his hand in a gesture of surrender, and did not continue the topic, nor did he leave. He was a psychiatrist, and so he is very talkative and knows how to guide people to chat. Ordinary people will only feel comfortable talking to him and will not realize that he is actually a skilled guide.

After chatting for more than half an hour, Qi Ying got up and went to the bathroom.

Ji Rang asked him impatiently: “What are you here for? Ji Qian asked you to come?”

He smiled: “It’s a coincidence.”

He happened to see that the heaviest psychological defense line he had handled: this boy covered in thorns, smiled softly and patiently at the little girl next to him.

Chen Fengzhi turned around holding the coffee cup, and suddenly asked, “Is she the one you said who attempted to commit suicide?”

Ji Rang stiffened and said nothing.

He leaned back and said in a deep voice, “I watched her carefully during the time I was chatting with her. No matter the look or tone of the little girl, even the subtle movements and micro expressions, I couldn’t tell that she was a person who has experienced severe psychological trauma or even exhibited suicidal behavior.”

Ji Rang moved his lips and asked in a low voice, “What do you mean?”

Chen Fengzhi sighed: “Two situations. One, she has indeed recovered.”

Ji Rang remembered Qi Ying crying and how she broke down that day and interrupted him irritably: “Impossible!”

“Then there is only one situation left. She is more seriously sick than we thought. It is so serious that I can’t even see it.” Ji Rang’s expression became heavier and hesitant, but he continued: “I don’t want to scare you, this way. Severe extreme situations can cause many continuous psychological problems, such as memory confusion, split personality, and even amnesia.”

No one spoke for a while.

Not far away, Qi Ying was already walking back after coming back from the toilet.

Ji Rang felt his throat tighten and asked in a low voice, “What should I do?”

Chen Fengzhi chuckled: “You should know. Find the heart knot, face it, and solve it.” He stood up holding the coffee cup, meaning: “If you want to help her, you have to let yourself come out to her first. “

Even you can’t understand sacrifice, how will you make her understand then.

To save others, you must first save yourself.

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15 thoughts on “TBLF Ch. 65

  1. Yep doc, you hit it on the head that this current QY didn’t try suicide 😉 and of course sly dog dr tries to cure two birds with one stone telling JR to open up to her first 😏

    Thanks for the chapter ❣️

  2. mmm yes before saving others, better first save yourself
    I can’t wait to see how QY will wow the crowd with her Guqin play but I’m mostly excited about JR’s reaction
    I’m kinda curious…will he have another dream of the past life where she’s playing the Guqin?

    Thanks for the update!

  3. Both Qi Ying, in the past life and this life, experienced suicide. The past Qi Ying hanged herself after the general’s death and the other took sleeping pills after her parent’s death. It must have been really serious if even Doc Chen can’t see a problem with her because technically, the QY now experienced 2 suicide attempts given that she has the memory of the original. I hope Ji Rang will be able to untie his own heart knot and then help her.

    Thanks for the chapter. ❤❤❤

  4. Doch… doch… she did experience suicide @CHINESEFANREADER. She had killed herself when the general died, but she is cured since she found him again in Jirang. So the Dr. Chen is not wrong.
    As reincarnation of modern QY, she inherited her memory so she can feel her pain very well, especially since she herself had also experience the same pain. The general also died to sacrifice for the country.
    However her most important person is now Jirang, and he is still alive…she found her love back, so he is her strength and motivation to recover…therefore she was completely sad in her hometown because of the memory but the presence of Jirang gives her strength to overcome it…therefore the doctor is not completely wrong either… She is now nearly completely..because her knot has been loosened by him since he accompany her to her hometown and went through the memories with her.
    Now it is actually his turn to untie his knot.
    The doctor is right, before helping others one needs to help oneself first.

  5. I just recently found this lovely story! thanks for translating 🙂

    By the way, carboxyl is not an ATOMIC group, but a functional group.

  6. Ah, right. The current QY is seemed to be completely healed of her suicidal tendency. But, it’s only because The General is alive by her side now as Ji Rang. The trigger for her suicide was his death (in the line of duty). But, what’s her real “heart knot”? If we’re only talking about the modern-QY, it might be the “survivor guilt” because she’s there and held captive while her father (and his colleagues) tried to save her and her mother then her parents both died because of it.

    For now, I’ve to agree with dr. Chen that the three people (QY, the modern-QY, and JR) ‘s “heart knot” is the willingness of their beloved person to be sacrificed for the greater good (or for other people as general). They have to understand that those people didn’t abandoned them for the “greater good”. That they have done their best to stay alive and return home first AND do their duty–the duty that come with their chosen aspiration/dream job. But, the fate had decreed for their time of death. It’s no one’s fault. Every living being will die at their own fated time. And I think it’s good for anyone to die knowing that they have done their best to make the world (specifically their “small world”) a little bit better place for their families and friends to live in. (Just my opinion, 😅)

  7. NB: “It (death) is no one fault”. But, ofc, if someone’s life was taken away without lawful reasons (such as in death penalty, in attempt of self-defense, etc.), then the murderer is at fault and must be punished.

  8. Not a psychologist so I don’t know, but when I really think about it, Qi Ying has never lived for herself. She’s always living for others. Her being alive right now is because of Ji Rang/General. If he’s not around then what?

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