Translator: Dj22031
Editor: Dj22031
Advance chapters available for patrons on Patreon. And a chapter can be sponsored by buying me a ko-fi.
(This is a brain rot space; guaranteed to make you laugh until you cry.)
….
“Bang bang bang—!”
“Fortune telling! Fortune telling! We can answer any question you may have, and we guarantee it will be accurate!”
“I’ll calculate your father’s name! I’ll calculate your mother’s age! I’ll calculate how many people are in your family! Each calculation costs one low-grade spirit stone, and if you’re wrong, the second calculation is half price!”
On Nine Swords Mountain, Chi Miao wore a mask that covered the upper half of her face and was dressed in the gray short robe that was unique to outer disciples. She had set up a mobile stall and beat gongs and drums. Her shouts were really loud!
Today was the recruitment ceremony of Nine Swords Mountain. As the number one sword sect in the world and one of the top ten sects in the cultivation world, Nine Swords Mountain was definitely a top-tier sect, with people coming and going.
Chi Miao had planned to set up a stall here half a month ago. She deliberately knocked out a lone outer disciple of Nine Swords Mountain, stripped him of his clothes, and was waiting for today!
Malicious?
It’s alright… She even saw that outer disciple jumping around and cursing today, cursing that some bast**d had stripped him alive.
As for who this bast**d was, he had no idea.
All she knew was that she had been in this world for ten years. Although she had started out as an orphan, apart from being reminded when she first arrived that she had a “system that would make her the strongest in history if she survived to the end of time,” she had no other cheat codes.
Because the name was too long, Chi Miao could only affectionately call it the “Gou Shi[1] System”.
The first unlocking task in this Gou Shi system was incredibly difficult.
[Task: Introduction to Survival Techniques]
[Mission Introduction: In this world, deception is the ultimate deceit; one can deceive heaven and earth, abandon personal integrity, and indulge in a life of immorality.]
[Mission Objective: Successfully scam people 100 times without being discovered by the victims for one hour.]
[Task Progress: 99/100]
[Task Reward: Unlock the system and receive a New Player Gift Pack x1]
Ten years!
Do you know how desperate she, a useless orphan, felt in this world full of immortals?!
Now that there was only one more time to unlock the system, she had no choice but to temporarily set aside her conscience.
Once she unlocked the system, she would definitely turn over a new leaf and become a kind and beautiful girl, washing away the sins of so many years.
At this point, some people laughed.
“You’re quite an interesting person. You set up a fortune-telling stall, but the things you tell are all a mess, and you charge a low-grade spirit stone for each reading. Do you think people are idiots?!”
Chi Miao was just waiting for someone to ask a question, and her lines came right off the bat: “That’s not right. Look at what I’m wearing. It’s the clothing of an outer disciple of Nine Swords Mountain. If I didn’t have some kind of magic, how could I wear this clothing, let alone set up a stall here!”
For a moment, there was complete silence. Everyone looked at Chi Miao with suspicion, scrutinizing her from head to toe.
Although the girl was wearing a mask, her voice was clear and crisp.
Most importantly, her eyes were extremely sincere, and her face was innocent and pure; she looked like a good girl.
“This……”
The group looked at each other, exchanged glances, and then began to discuss the matter.
“That’s true. She must be a disciple of Nine Swords Mountain. If she really didn’t have the skills, why would she be setting up a stall here?”
“If you ask me, this might just be part of the Nine Swords Mountain trial, designed to test our intelligence!”
“That makes sense… but since it’s a test of intelligence, should we go up and ask?”
Chi Miao didn’t say anything, just watched these people and smiled.
At that moment, a voice rang out from the crowd: “Isn’t it obvious whether to ask or not?”
The crowd went to investigate upon hearing the voice. The speaker was dressed in gold robes, had a handsome appearance, and his entire body was adorned with golden magical artifacts that shone brightly, exuding extreme luxury.
Chi Miao’s eyes lit up immediately.
Based on her many years of experience in swindling, she was 100% certain.
A big client had arrived!
Chi Miao feigned mystery, a half-smile playing on her lips: “Oh? How is it so obvious?”
The major client said, “Your explanation is so idiotic that no normal person would believe it, and Nine Swords Mountain would definitely think so too. So I will do the opposite. You… must have some profound secret!”
Chi Miao: “Really?”
“Of course, I, Jin Shengfei, have been in this cultivation world for many years and am already used to it. I would never make a mistake!”
Chi Miao was more excited than the people around her when she heard the name.
Jin Shengfei!
Born into the wealthy Jin family, he was already at the late stage of Qi Refining at the young age of eighteen, and had already gained some fame in the cultivation world. People were speculating which sect he would join at this year’s recruitment ceremony.
He actually came to Nine Swords Mountain.
Great, great, it was a really big customer!
Chi Miao was incredibly excited, but she still wanted to play hard to get.
But before she could even open her mouth to speak, the other party interrupted her spellcasting.
With a flick of his sleeve, Jin Shengfei revealed a crystal, containing extremely pure power, on the stall’s table.
“A high-grade spirit stone? I’d like to see what’s so special about you!”
“Top-grade spirit stones! Jin Shengfei truly lives up to his reputation as the young master of the Jin family; what a generous gesture!”
You should know that a single high-grade spirit stone could buy a large mansion in the mortal realm, making it more precious than hundreds of low-grade spirit stones.
Even Chi Miao, who had been swindling for years, almost couldn’t help but exclaim, “Wow, Wang! You’re such a scoundrel!”
She suppressed her excitement and slowly put the high-grade spirit stone into her pocket.
“Since Young Master Jin trusts me so much, shall I begin?”
“Come!”
“Give me your hand.”
Chi Miao pressed down on Jin Shengfei’s hand, held her breath for a moment, and then shouted, “Your father’s surname is Jin! Is that right or wrong?”
Jin Shengfei: “Right!”
Everyone: “Huh?”
Before anyone else could react, Chi Miao added, “Your mother is a woman! Is that right or wrong?”
Jin Shengfei: “Right!”
Chi Miao: “You are now in the late stage of Qi Refining, only half a step away from Foundation Establishment.”
Jin Shengfei: “You even know that?”
Chi Miao was also surprised. Dude… are you really going to praise me like this?
If she didn’t know the truth herself, she would have thought he was an actor she had hired.
Thankfully, she wasn’t the one who had invited him.
That acting was so bad!
Before Chi Miao could continue, Jin Shengfei got excited and asked several questions in a row.
After Chi Miao used her vague, deliberately profound, and emotionally intelligent speech, she completely won over Jin Shengfei.
Jin Shengfei: “You’re a true diviner! You’re absolutely divine!”
He excitedly grabbed Chi Miao’s hand, but Chi Miao smiled and pushed him away: “My test is over. Trust me, you will definitely be able to enter Nine Swords Mountain and become a disciple of Nine Swords Mountain today.”
Jin Shengfei’s eyes burned with passion, and he burst into laughter.
He knew it; he was clever and quick-witted, and he saw through it at a glance— this was the trial of Nine Swords Mountain.
He wanted to say something more, but Chi Miao threw a smoke bomb down in front of him. After everyone stopped coughing and the smoke dissipated, they saw that the girl was nowhere to be seen.
“This…” the passerby said in surprise, “They just left like that, it feels like…”
Before he could even utter the word “scam,” Jin Shengfei burst into laughter.
“Excellent! Appearing and disappearing without a trace, as expected of a disciple of Nine Swords Mountain, impressive! Truly impressive!”
Everyone: “…”
After thinking about it, they decided not to say anything.
Young Master Jin seemed to believe it very much.
Just as everyone was feeling speechless, a sword light suddenly burst forth from the sky.
Boom—!
One sword can cleave the heavens!
Where the clouds dispersed, several golden rays descended, auspicious clouds rose, and several ethereal immortals stood atop the clouds.
“Nine Swords Mountain, test now open!”
“First round of testing: verifying spiritual roots!”
The author has something to say:
I’ve gone mad, I’ve gone mad with studying.
So I’m writing a book that is abstract, funny, nonsensical, devoid of moral values, and illogical.
The female lead is of low character and attacks indiscriminately.
The writing reflects the mind; the whole thing is just a bunch of crazy people.
P.S.: The whole book is packed with references and memes; you can find a bit of the plot in the numerous references.
Important note: I’ve already said beforehand that you can’t criticize me or give me low stars because of this!!!
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[1] Literally Means Dog Poop, so for obvious reasons I’ll be using Gou Shi in my translations.
