Translator: Dj22031
Editor: Dj22031
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Shen Yu, sporting panda eyes and barely breathing, walked out of the student council president’s office.
Outside, Xiao Zhuqing, accompanied by a large group of fujoshi (female fans of male-male romance), leaned against the wall, munching on Pocky sticks, waiting for him. Just as Shen Yu was about to leave, a small, delicate, snow-white hand suddenly braced itself against the wall, blocking his path.
Xiao Zhuqing held up her phone; it was Shen Yu’s live stream: “Donghai Zhan Kuang[1], is that you?”
Shen Yu, exposed in public, denied it three times: “No, it wasn’t me! Don’t talk nonsense!”
Xiao Zhuqing reasoned seriously: “Donghai Zhan Kuang was secretly hiding in the student council office, live-streaming President Ji and Secretary Lu; the live stream just ended; you just came out of the office, completely beaten up. What other reason could there be besides being exposed and beaten up by the two of them— your two black eyes are even different depths. Donghai Zhan Kuang is you!”
Shen Yu remembered the fear of being dominated by the student council president and secretary, and quickly covered his face: “Let me go!”
The woman in front of him smiled slightly, her fair hand frankly placing on his shoulder.
“We’ve tried everything to popularize the Feng Rong CP, but to no avail. You single-handedly got everyone hooked, making the Feng Rong CP known to the world. Your contribution is invaluable. After our discussion this morning, I declare that I’m relinquishing the position of Feng Rong CP leader to you, the one who truly popularized it! From now on, you’re our best friend, the number one CP fan leader in the academy!”
Shen Yu: “…Huh?”
“Now tell us what sweet moments you’ve witnessed up close!” Xiao Zhuqing clapped her hands, and Shen Yu was dragged away by a group of fujoshi.
Today, Shen Yu had just escaped one danger only to fall into another!
After Shen Yu’s live stream, the aloof, icy student council president x naturally cute secretary had become a sensation at Chengnan Middle School, crushing the Hengwen CP and taking the throne as the number one national CP in Chengnan.
After all, all the previous pairings were just wishful thinking and self-inflicted wounds, only the Feng Rong CP truly provided him with something to enjoy!
“We’ve been starving for so long, and now that we finally have some food, we must cherish this hard-won bumper harvest,” Xiao Zhuqing solemnly instructed the group of female fans.
“Of course, do we even need the Minister to say that?”
“We’ve done things that are like hiding sugar in shit, what’s a little sugar in sugar?”
“We’ll definitely ensure quality and quantity so you can enjoy it to your heart’s content, please rest assured, organization!”… The members of the Literature and Art Department present all expressed their opinions.
Shen Yu, sitting at the head of the table, stared dumbfounded at this scene that resembled a meeting of the Heaven and Earth Society to discuss overthrowing the Qing Dynasty and restoring the Ming Dynasty— what kind of thing was the Literature and Art Department? The entire department had become corrupted within a day of joining! The Literature and Art Minister, Xiao Zhuqing, was terrifyingly corrupt!
Xiao Zhuqing said seriously, “It’s not just about shipping them; don’t forget our mission. President Ji gave our Literature and Art Department a target yesterday: to increase the school magazine’s circulation to over a thousand copies. If we want students to be interested in what’s happening at school, gossip interviews are the fastest shortcut. Now that a new couple has appeared, if we don’t make it the front page headline, we’ll be punished by heaven!”
All members: “Yes, sir!”
Xiao Zhuqing gave everyone a stern look and began assigning tasks: “I’ve decided that everyone else will be responsible for gathering materials, and Shen Yu will be responsible for finding the sweet moments.”
Shen Yu: “Huh?”
Xiao Zhuqing looked at him intently: “Shen Dada, you’re the best at shipping couples I’ve ever met. I’m never wrong about people; you have an unparalleled talent for shipping couples.” She lowered her head in shame. “As the first person in the whole school to discover the Feng Rong CP, I thought I was truly devoted to them. But what did I actually do? All I did was pass on messages every day, stirring up their feelings for each other, creating opportunities for two completely unrelated hearts to slowly collide. That’s all!”
Shen Yu: “…” No, judging from your description, that’s already incredibly impressive!
“I’ve been shipping couples for so long, but haven’t gotten much sweetness from them, and I took it for granted. I satisfied myself by writing erotic novels every day…” Xiao Zhuqing sincerely raised her eyes and confessed to Shen Yu, “Until I met Shen Dada, I realized how lazy I was back then! Shen Dada can get up early in the morning to lie in ambush outside Rongshan Manor for his beloved couple, can invest tens of thousands to buy cameras just to take high-definition photos of the couple, can skip early self-study and hide behind the curtains to risk his life just to do a live stream to show the beautiful interactions between the couple. I admire his determination, perseverance, and action! I really don’t deserve to be a CP fan leader!”
Shen Yu laughed awkwardly: “Hehe, hehehehe… It’s nothing, nothing.” If you keep going, I might actually take it seriously!
Xiao Zhuqing, supporting herself on her knees, addressed the group members: “I watched Shen Dada’s entire live stream today, and it felt like a complete spiritual cleansing. Every frame of Shen Dada’s video was enough to make me scream; every frame was pure sweetness. How did they achieve such an effect? The lighting, composition, plot twists, and prop preparation— everything was so meticulously done. It’s because of all the effort Shen Dada put in behind the scenes that it became such a sensation, racking up over 200,000 views, to the point that even the dean of students at Chengnan Middle School knew about the Feng Rong CP. I asked myself: if you were doing a live stream, could you do that? You all need to ask yourselves that too. People more talented than you are working even harder than you; you really should reflect on your own attitudes towards shipping CPs.”
The group members all lowered their heads in repentance.
Shen Yu had never been flattered like this before, and felt lightheaded. He stepped in to smooth things over, saying, “Hey, Minister Xiao, don’t say that. I’m unworthy of such praise. Everyone here is a hardworking fangirl, and I believe that with their efforts, they will achieve even greater success than I have.”
Xiao Zhuqing slammed her hand on the table and scolded, “Did you hear that? That leader is so humble, but you all get cocky after drawing a fan art or writing a fanfiction, thinking you’re so great— go back and reflect on your work. Don’t disappoint Leader Shen.”
The department members nodded obsequiously.
After finishing her ideological work, Xiao Zhuqing returned to the task assignment: “This time, you’ll go out to collect materials. When you bring them back, Shen Dada will be in charge of editing the videos and compiling the text. See how he turns ordinary daily life into a sweet treat— Shen Dada, could you mentor them?”
Upon hearing about editing videos and compiling text, Shen Yu’s previously lightheaded state vanished, and he chuckled dryly, “Wait a minute, I’m from the Discipline Department next door…”
Xiao Zhuqing anticipated Shen Yu’s refusal and, with tears in her eyes, grasped his hand: “Shen Dada, our Literature and Art Department is newly established, and we’re lacking in talented fujoshi. My talent isn’t as good as yours, and I’ve never successfully made a CP (couple pairing) popular. You’re the only one with practical experience. We hope to learn more about CP knowledge from you, and also learn the life lessons of being a fujoshi. If possible, I’d even like to give you the position of Literature and Art Minister, please!”
Saying this, she stood up and ordered the room full of fujoshi: “Everyone stand up!”
All the members stood up!
Xiao Zhuqing: “Bow to Shen Dada!”
All the members followed Xiao Zhuqing and bowed 90 degrees!
Xiao Zhuqing: “Please, Mr. Shen, lead us to become qualified CP fans!”
The entire club erupted in a deafeningly clear voice: “Please, Mr. Shen, lead us to become qualified CP fans!”
Shen Yu was originally just a delinquent youth, smoking, drinking, and engaging in promiscuous relationships.
The last time such a group of young girls bowed to him in unison was when he was hiring hostesses at a nightclub.
And those hostesses weren’t nearly as genuinely devoted as the members of the Arts Department!
Surrounded by the faith of so many young girls, Shen Yu rediscovered the thrill of being the undisputed king of the Changnan War Maniac, invincible under the spotlight.
He slowly stood up: “Since you all say so, I… won’t refuse. From now on, I’ll lead you all to ship the Feng Rong CP!~”
The fujoshis cheered: “Hurrah!”
The door to the student council president’s office next door opened, Shen Yu’s eyes flashed, and he waved his hand: “Coming!
“First rule of shipping: Always pay attention to the CP’s movements, be more perceptive than a discerning ear!”
“Bring your cameras! Charge!”
When Ji Wenfeng and Lu Rong came out of the student council president’s office, they never expected that the situation outside had changed.
The two walked side by side down the corridor as before.
Shen Yu, wearing headphones, stared at the various live videos coming from the front lines, explaining to the members of the literature and art department: “Look at their hands!” The two walked side by side, their hands brushing together. President Ji nervously opened his hand slightly, while the secretary shyly raised his hand to cover his hand, avoiding further contact… This action revealed the secretary’s true intention: rejection. President Ji glanced at him, his pace slowing slightly, clearly annoyed by his avoidance. This was a very interesting detail in their interaction.
Xiao Zhuqing was speechless for a long time, only able to say to everyone with exasperation, “Listen! Listen to their analysis!”
….
The two reached the fork in the corridor of the teaching building. Lu Rong looked back strangely at the corridor: “I have a strange feeling of being spied on.”
Ji Wenfeng, who had been handsome since childhood, was used to being spied on: “Being with me, you’ll have to get used to it slowly.”
Lu Rong keenly said, “I suspect the live stream is still going on.”
Ji Wenfeng: “Shen Yu has been beaten like this, he won’t dare again. You’re just someone who’s been bitten once and is now afraid of even a rope[2].”
Lu Rong: “Hmm…”
Lu Rong: “Then I’ll go back first.”
Ji Wenfeng: “Wait a minute. Let’s go to the toilet together.”
Lu Rong: “You pee a lot.”
Ji Wenfeng frowned: “You made me drink a cup of honey milk this morning, how could I not pee a lot?”
The two of them strolled to the toilet.
Shen Yu watched the video coming from ahead. The two of them stopped at the fork in the road in the teaching building and stood talking. One of them had a calm expression, while the other was obviously dissatisfied. Then the student council president said something, and the secretary had no choice but to reluctantly follow him to the toilet.
Shen Yu chuckled: “This is obviously the student council president and the secretary at the crossroads where they were going to part ways. The secretary then said, ‘President, let’s say goodbye here.’ The student council president thought the road was too short and coldly said: ‘No, let’s walk a little further together to the restroom.’ When boys go to the toilet together, it’s a kind of ‘I admit you’re my friend,’ but between them, it’s actually very sexually tense. Because when they get to the restroom, they have to unzip their pants and then… You could say that the student council president was testing the secretary’s feelings at this moment. If the secretary treats him like an ordinary guy, they’ll go to the bathroom together like buddies and even compare sizes; if the secretary sees him as a romantic interest, he won’t go in, he’ll be shy. ‘Oh dear, how can I look at someone’s before we’re even officially together… that’s indecent.’ So this student council president isn’t at a loss, he either gets to see the secretary’s [beep], or he’s certain the secretary likes him. This student council president is really heartless.”
Xiao Zhuqing shook her head and muttered, “Genius.”
Shen Yu: Hehe, my experience in picking up girls also applies to shipping couples.
….
Lu Rong and Ji Wenfeng walked to the bathroom door.
Lu Rong: “You go in.”
Ji Wenfeng: “Aren’t you going?”
Lu Rong: “I don’t feel anything.”
Ji Wenfeng: “Then wait for me outside.”
Lu Rong was embarrassed and angry: “We’re not in the same class, if we come out we’ll go left and right!”
Ji Wenfeng: “Then I’ll walk you to your classroom door later.”
Lu Rong: “…” So clingy.
Ji Wenfeng: “Wait for me, don’t leave.”
He went into the restroom.
Lu Rong waited outside.
….
Shen Yu pointed at the screen and confidently said, “The secretary likes the president. He won’t go in. He’s shy.”
Xiao Zhuqing clapped.
….
Lu Rong sent a WeChat message to Ji Wenfeng: “Are you done yet?”
Ji Wenfeng: “No.”
Ji Wenfeng: “I’m taking a dump.”
Lu Rong: “Damn.”
Ji Wenfeng: “Wait a minute, I’ll be right back.”
Lu Rong: “Ji Wenfeng, you’re toxic.”
….
Shen Yu chuckled, crossing his arms, “I knew the student council president wouldn’t come out.”
Xiao Zhuqing: “Why?”
Shen Yu: “He was just in the same room with the secretary, and they had a… you know… incident. No matter how aloof and cold he is, a trace of uncontrollable evil thought still sprouted in his heart, so he had a physical reaction! He deliberately led his secretary to the bathroom door, making him wait while he went in. The naive secretary outside then urged, ‘President, what are you doing in there?’ The president replied, ‘Nothing.’ But his cool voice was already tinged with a hint of rapid breathing…”
Xiao Zhuqing looked at him in awe, her fingers flying as she transcribed his words. As expected of Shen Yu, even a casual bathroom trip for a couple could become a scene from an adult anime!
….
Ji Wenfeng came out of the bathroom, his face cold and serious, and said, “It felt good.”
Lu Rong: “…”
Ji Wenfeng: “Just now, because of that bast**d Shen Yu, our personas were all ruined. From now on, we’ll start over.”
He then reverted to his aloof student council president persona.
Lu Rong: “…” …
Shen Yu zoomed in on Ji Wenfeng’s screenshot, solemnly stating, “After he released, his expression became even more ascetic.”
Xiao Zhuqing: “That’s right, that’s right!”
Shen Yu analyzed the student council president and the secretary like this for a whole day.
Based on that day’s content, Xiao Zhuqing went back and led the members to write more than 100,000 words.
By the time Lu Rong found out, it was too late. Their fanfiction had already been printed in more than 3,000 copies in the school magazine. Damn it.
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[1] Battle updates from the East Sea.
[2] The phrase “once bitten, twice shy” or the specific saying “he who has been bitten by a snake fears a rope” is a famous proverb of global origin describing how trauma creates lasting, over-reactive fear.
