Translator: Dj22031
Editor: Dj22031
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One day, Xie Lingya and Shi Changxuan were walking down the street when they were stopped by several people. They said they were doing a project and wanted to interview couples, both heterosexual and homosexual, to ask them a few questions.
Xie Lingya said, “I didn’t expect you guys to be so perceptive as to recognize us as a couple, so I’ll play along.”
The questions the project team asked mainly concerned how honest couples were with each other, whether they shared their deepest thoughts, and also tested their level of understanding.
The project team first asked how much they usually communicated.
Xie Lingya chuckled and said his boyfriend wasn’t talkative and they didn’t communicate much.
But after a series of tests, their level of understanding was incredibly high, leaving the project team speechless. They then asked, “Are you sure?”
Xie Lingya replied, “Yes, we communicate almost telepathically.”
He was joking, but the project team’s questions weren’t really relevant to them. Initially, many of Shi Changxuan’s ideas were left for Xie Lingya to guess, filled with ellipses, but this gradually improved. As a result, their communication time might not have been as long as other couples. But that didn’t mean they didn’t understand each other; there was indeed a tacit understanding, forged through life-and-death experiences, something most couples couldn’t learn.
The planner hesitantly pulled out some stationery: “This is intended for couples who haven’t been communicating well and have had conflicts, to let them communicate in this raw, distant way, writing down their thoughts. In your case… I don’t know if I should send it to you.”
Xie Lingya snatched the stationery. “Thanks.”
He then handed one sheet to Shi Changxuan. “Write it well; you can’t just ‘want to write but then stop,’ can you?”
Shi Changxuan: “…”
….
The next day, while Shi Changxuan was eating breakfast, he silently took out an envelope and gave it to Xie Lingya.
“What’s this?” Xie Lingya had stayed up late reading the night before, his eyelids swollen, staring blankly at the object.
Shi Changxuan: “…?”
Incredulous, Xie Lingya had forgotten about this.
“Oh, I remember now!” Xie Lingya, seeing his expression, finally came to his senses. “Don’t look at me like that, I wrote one too!”
Compared to Shi Changxuan’s letter, which wasn’t enough with just one sheet of paper and had several sheets pasted on the back, Xie Lingya took out a thin sheet of paper, and they each opened it.
Shi Changxuan’s letter:
Lingya, I have so much to say, I don’t know where to begin. After all, although you sometimes misunderstand me, we generally know each other.
We’ve known each other for several years now, and sometimes when I recall the past, my heart is not at peace. I’ve practiced Taoism since childhood and don’t like to talk much. The first time we met, you saw me in the crowd, and I inexplicably remembered your face. The second time, I recognized you quickly.
You are incredibly talented, and your words are both funny and frustrating, so frank that they leave one speechless, yet there’s a subtle sense of being overbearing— perhaps only for me, because sometimes I really don’t know how to talk to you. The first few times we met, I felt somewhat at a loss, a fact you may not realize.
Reflecting on my thoughts, I realize that while I was speculating about you, I also vaguely found you quite interesting. As early as our second meeting, in the car together, I misunderstood your intentions. But later, when you invited me to stay at Baoyang Temple, I didn’t hesitate, even agreeing almost inexplicably.
When I went home for vacation, my parents noticed a slight change in me, which I didn’t realize then, but now I think it’s true.
Perhaps letters are indeed a better way to express oneself, and writing this has made me think of even more.
I’ve always been searching for a balance between societal rules and my own principles, but the phrase “saving all living beings” is too grand; I just do my best. So when I unconsciously paid attention to you, I think I sensed a subtle shared sentiment. Especially when I saw you managing the temple day and night while studying for exams for your uncle, and when we went together to perform rituals for the deceased, praying for the souls of those wronged from centuries past— you didn’t hesitate for a moment. You said you brought Pei Xiaoshan back for the reward money, yet you saved countless souls with a single sword stroke, and were even injured for me. But I probably can’t be as cheerful as you are. Sometimes you’re fierce, sometimes gentle. Every time you’re so close to me, I think a lot. I wonder why you like someone as boring as me? Do you also like our shared traits? But you act without considering the consequences, without thinking about how I should respond? So I’m a little conflicted.
Do I resent you?
Maybe a little.
It’s not just you who puts me in a difficult position. Actually, I’ve been paying attention to the housing market in Zhuyang, because your family’s property seems to be in the county, and the Taoist temple will eventually be handed over to the successor. If I bought early, I wouldn’t be caught off guard and unable to find good properties later. But later, considering you were going to expand the temple, I hesitated about whether I should spend the money. In that hesitation, I already knew you weren’t interested in me.
I’m at a loss. Everything tangible contains the essence of the Tao. I didn’t dwell too much on being attracted to you, but I didn’t realize from beginning to end that I had misunderstood. For the first time in over twenty years, I felt utterly lost and bewildered. I didn’t know what was wrong, nor why you treated me this way. Even knowing it wasn’t your fault, I couldn’t suppress my inner turmoil and wanted to blame you for being so adorable that it made me lose my composure. Even now, from a personal perspective, I still believe I wasn’t at fault. You always looked at me like that, so close, keeping me by your side, saying strange things. If I was wrong, then you were also somewhat unintentionally wrong.
Fortunately, it all ended without serious harm. Initially, no one believed or even imagined our relationship, but today, someone on the street recognized us at a glance. Perhaps this is a kind of unspoken understanding. Let’s end this letter here. We still have more time to discuss who is right and who is wrong.
Finally, I want to be honest. I always said the Phytolacca God was damaged by lightning, but after careful consideration, I think perhaps it was influenced by its master’s subconscious. However, this is just my speculation.
….
Xie Lingya’s letter:
A simple drawing of a little Taoist priest, and a line of hastily written words: Senior brother, face me head-on!
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