Shen Yiyou made a temporary trip to the capital to visit an up-and-coming artist who had risen to prominence in recent years.
The other party had been in touch with Shen Yiyou for a long time, but they had never met. Shen Yiyou knew that he was just transiting from the capital this time and would only stay for one night, so he tried out the invitation, the other party readily agreed, and the two met in a coffee shop in the city.
Shen Yiyou wanted to invite the other to participate in an exhibition. After meeting, the two chatted happily, but until the end, the other party did not give Shen Yiyou a definite answer.
After sending the other party to his car, Shen Yiyou walked alone along the road for a while.
The heat in August was very high. Mosquitoes were flying under the halo of the street lamps, like sparks rising from a glowing charcoal cake. The road was so hot that people couldn’t stand on it for long.
Shen Yiyou was afraid of both the cold and the heat, but for some reason he didn’t want to take a taxi or go to the hotel, he just wanted to take a walk alone.
His co-curator Robbins sent him a message and asked him how his talk went. Shen Yiyou thought about it and replied, “He didn’t give a reply.”
He turned a corner and waited for the traffic light to turn from red to green with a few middle school students. After walking a short distance, he suddenly saw a fountain made of circular marble and the grand entrance of a villa complex across the road.
Shen Yiyou found it a little familiar, and after watching it for a while, he was suddenly surprised to discover that this was where his parents lived.
It was a place where he hadn’t lived for a long time and for which he didn’t have many feelings, but he used to come here often.
Shen Yiyou always took the car before and after, so he never carefully observed the nearby scenery, therefore he didn’t recognize it for a while.
From birth, Shen Yiyou was taken care of by his grandmother and spent all his time in the south. At the age of seven, he came to the capital to attend primary school and lived in the faculty dormitory of his mother’s school.
His parents were very busy and didn’t have much time to take care of him. They didn’t see each other for three days or so, but at the same time they asked him to be excellent.
Shen Yiyou didn’t have a happy childhood or a period of rebelliousness. Looking back to his student days, his most preserved memory was traveling through the city in the company of the often changing nannies, going to different schools or teachers’ homes, learning different things and taking different exams.
After he went to high school in England, the villa was renovated. When Shen Yiyou was away, his grandmother came. His grandmother was planning to stay for a while and then go back to the south, but she died in a car accident while she was out for a walk.
Shen Yiyou rushed back from London and walked into this unfamiliar villa. In the splendid hall where the sofa and coffee table had been removed, he saw the man sitting beside his grandmother’s ice coffin, wearing a white filial piety garment.
Before she died, grandma grabbed the nurse’s hand and said that they had to wait until Yiyou arrived before entering the funeral home, so everyone was waiting for him.
“You’re here at last,” his mother said to him. “Go kowtow first.”
It was as hot as today, Shen Yiyou put on white linen clothes, knelt in front of the coffin and kowtowed. He didn’t cry at that time. One night after going back to school, Shen Yiyou lay on the bed, clutching the purse his grandmother had given him, and suddenly started shedding tears in a trance.
His grandmother was gone, and he was left alone. Shen Yiyou thought while crying.
But thinking about it, he was always the only one left.
In the three years he was in love with Li Shu, he had moments when he thought he was being loved.
When Li Shu knocked on the door of Shen Yiyou’s hotel apartment with a luggage bag in early morning, when Shen Yiyou learned that he came from San Francisco to meet him, at these times Shen Yiyou imagined that he was loved.
When they kissed and had sex for the first time, Li Shu hugged Shen Yiyou tightly from behind, then Shen Yiyou thought he had found a lover, and Li Shu would no longer let him feel lonely.
They would always, always be in love, and always be together.
Shen Yiyou made a failed relationship attempt, experienced a lot of hardships he had never experienced before, and after giving up the struggle of getting what he wanted, he began to try to correct himself and live a more normal life without Li Shu.
He stood on the opposite side of the community for a while but thinking of his grandmother’s naive wish for a closer relationship between him and his mother, he forced himself to take out his mobile phone and sent a text message to his mother.
He wrote to his mother, “I’m on a business trip to the capital today, and I’ll go back to City S tomorrow.”
After waiting for ten minutes, he didn’t receive a reply. An empty taxi happened to drive past him, and he waved to stop it.
There was a traffic jam on the way back to the hotel. Shen Yiyou kept in mind that Li Shu had asked him to find the purse. After calculating his schedule in August for a long time, he felt that he could spare three days by re-shuffling everything, so he sent a message to Li Shu. After receiving the text message, he asked, “When is a convenient time when I can come to find the purse?”
Because Li Shu now might have an inconvenient time for Shen Yiyou to appear.
Thinking of Li Shu and his new relationship, Shen Yiyou didn’t seem to feel so uncomfortable anymore.
Perhaps it was because no matter how difficult it was for him to accept it, it could not change the result, and the fact that Li Shu was willing to compromise for others and not him.
The car was parked in front of the hotel. Shen Yiyou got out of the car when his phone rang and he saw that Li Shu had called him.
Shen Yiyou picked it up, and Li Shu asked him, “When do you want to come?”
“When it’s convenient for you,” Shen Yiyou said as he walked in, “I’m not sure yet.”
When he heard Li Shu’s voice, Shen Yiyou suddenly felt that he might be about to let go. Because although the bitterness was still there, it seemed that there was only bitterness left, there was no more boundless jealousy.
Shen Yiyou didn’t wait for Li Shu to speak and joked with him again: “But I can only stay for one day at most. So, I may have to stay at your house all night.”
Li Shu was silent for a while, then said, “You might not be able to find it even after searching all night.”
Shen Yiyou’s heart sank and he wanted to ask him “what to do then” but felt that Li Shu was not obliged to advise him anymore and reminding him to look for it before he sold the house was already an extra preferential treatment.
He walked to the elevator absentmindedly, raised his hand and pressed the up button, then he heard Li Shu say, “Are you sure you can only stay for one day?”
Shen Yiyou was stunned for a moment, and always felt that something was wrong. The voice on the phone seemed to have a very strange tone. He thought for a few seconds, then turned his head slowly, and found a man in a white T-shirt wearing wireless headphones, holding a mobile phone with his back to him, looking as if he was waiting for the elevator as well.
The man was wearing a smart watch, and the strap was given by him.
“You look back.” Shen Yiyou couldn’t tell whether he was speaking to the phone or to the person with his back turned to him.
The man in the white T-shirt seemed to be stunned and turned around.
When their eyes met, Shen Yiyou felt a slight but inescapable pain.
Shen Yiyou has seen him wear this t-shirt several times. The pants and shoes were also old, and only the hair was a little shorter. It may have just been cut and his frame had been changed, but it was not much different from before, it was still a simple unfashionable black frame.
Li Shu was much calmer than Shen Yiyou. He slowly took off one earphone and looked at Shen Yiyou with his eyes down. After a few seconds, he said, “Are you here on business?”
Before Shen Yiyou could answer, the elevator’s upward warning light flashed, and the door opened. Li Shu took a step forward, put his hand on the door, and looked back at Shen Yiyou: “Let’s go upstairs first.”
Shen Yiyou walked in and stood in the corner, while Li Shu politely stood on the other side of the elevator, the two of them couldn’t be further apart. But Li Shu was very tall, and once he stood not so far from Shen Yiyou, Shen Yiyou couldn’t ignore his existence.
Li Shu swiped his card and pressed on his floor button, as he asked Shen Yiyou, “Which floor are you on?”
Shen Yiyou couldn’t remember clearly, so he took out the room card and glanced at it, and then said, “Same as you.”
Li Shu didn’t look at him anymore, Shen Yiyou lowered his head and stared at the wrist on which Li Shu was still wearing the watchband he had given him, thinking to himself, Li Shu was really careless.
It was as if, if anything was given to him, he had to use it immediately and it would become a part of his daily life, then he would not change it until it broke.
In fact, he may not even remember where it came from.
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 In traditional customs, when relatives hold funerals for the deceased, they must wear white mourning clothes, with linen cloth or white hats or cloth strips on their heads, white cloth on their shoes, and hemp ropes around their waists. , commonly known as “wearing filial piety”.