TBLF Ch. 61

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Ji Rang looked pale when he saw the little girl sobbing almost to death in his arms.

It turned out that she was not completely reconciled.

She was not as optimistic as she seemed.

It turned out that she was not proud of her father, just like him.

He had been extremely worried that when she learned the truth and got to know the reason behind all his rebellious behavior, she would run away from him. As Fang Xu said, she was proud of her father, and he was ashamed of his.

It turned out not to be so.

But at this moment, he peeped into her true heart and knew that she was like him, but he was not very happy about it.

She cried so much that he was going crazy. If someone told him to give up his life, so she wouldn’t be this uncomfortable, he would definitely hand it over without hesitation.

The little girl touched his chin with her forehead, and when she raised her head, tears touched his face. She tugged at the corner of his clothes tightly with her fingers, like pulling some life-saving straw, and tremblingly asked him, “I shouldn’t blame him, right?”

The long-held belief in her eyes was thin and fragile.

On this rainy day, it could be broken easily.

But when she asked this sentence, it sounded clear and hopeful. It was like hoping that someone will stand up and stitch her beliefs together again.

Ji Rang knew that he shouldn’t lie.

How could she not blame him?

This resentment has been in his heart for more than ten years, and it had taken root and sprouted thorns, which had become an obsession that hurt when he touched it.

But he couldn’t let the little girl be like him.

She loved the world and should be treated tenderly by the world. She is pure and soft, with a flawless heart, and cannot fall into the abyss of resentment and pain like him.

Ji Rang lowered his head and kissed her wet eyes, his voice deep: “Yes, he is a hero.”

He is a hero.

We cannot be proud of them, but this does not prevent them from being heroes.

Ji Rang suddenly remembered that day when his grandfather sternly said to him who was crying and sobbing: “He is a soldier first! Your father second! And his wife’s husband last! Soldiers should do what a soldier should do! That is his mission!”

He had been unable to understand, and he resented it to this day.

But remembering the photo of the man in police uniform on the tombstone, he suddenly realized something while he looked at the little girl in his arms who finally stopped her tears because of his words.

Being a soldier or a policeman meant sacrifice.

There were always people in this world who were not so selfish.

The rain outside the window finally stopped.

Qi Ying hugged his neck softly. After the tears were dry, her eyes looked red and watery, which made people feel distressed.

Ji Rang stood up holding her, then went to the bathroom to wet the towel, and came to wipe her face. Her skin was so white and tender, that even with very light strength, she still blushed after he had finished wiping her face.

She cried like this in front of him for the first time, so she felt a little bit embarrassed, and she didn’t dare to look at him and kept her eyes down.

After wiping her face, Ji Rang asked her in a low voice, “Aren’t you hungry?”

After all, crying was also a physically exhausting task.

She touched her stomach, a little embarrassed, but still obeyed the stomach’s real thoughts and nodded silently.

He laughed and took her hand: “The rain has stopped, let’s go to eat supper.”

The city looked very fresh after the heavy rain. Neon lights illuminated the night, the stars flickered in the night, and the stores that were forced to stop by the rainstorm opened their doors again.

Qi Ying walked down the street and felt familiar with everything there.

Her voice was soft, with a nasal undertone after crying, her little finger pointed at the corner in front, and she said softly: “There is beef rice roll store there, which is very delicious.”

Ji Rang led her to walk over. The owner of the rice rolls store was putting the rice noodles into the basket. He said, “Do you have the beef rice rolls?”

The boss said beamingly, “Yes.”

He came over very quickly, and when he saw Qi Ying at the door, he said, “A beef rice roll.” He smiled and said, “Oh little sister, you haven’t been here for a long time.”

Qi Ying also smiled at him obediently.

After eating the rice rolls, she licked the corners of her mouth and said: “I want to eat the spicy soup sold at the back of my old school.”

So, Ji Rang took a taxi and took her to Yancheng No. 7 Middle School.

Yancheng school seemed to be much older than Haiyi. It was an old key high school in this city. It was established a century ago, and the teaching building of that year still remained on the campus.

The wall outside the campus looked old, covered with creepers, and there were unknown purple flowers blooming on the wall.

Ji Rang made her happy: “I can jump over the wall of your school easily.”

Qi Ying: “Wow, it’s amazing.”

Ji Rang: “…” Is the girl really complimenting him or insulting him?

The street outside the school had been around for quite a while, and the roots of the trees on the street had emerged out of the ground, intertwined, and surrounded by small stone bricks. The branches and leaves above the head were lush, and the dark green leaves were hidden under the streetlamp. Because of the heavy rain just now, water dripped from time to time.

The Mala Tang shop at the back door was still open, and several students in Yanqi school uniforms were eating and laughing there.

The lady boss greeted her and asked with a smile, “Do you want two?”

Ji Rang nodded and took her to a seat near the door. Qi Ying was familiar with the road, carrying a plate to get vegetables, softly asked him: “What do you like to eat?”

He said, “I will eat whatever you eat.”

She was not greedy, and the little girl was always satisfied easily. She took two or three skewers of the dishes she liked to eat, and after ordering it to the proprietress, she sat back next to him obediently.

Ji Rang bought her a bottle of soy milk, opened the cap, plugged in a straw, and handed it to her.

She sucked on her straw twice, and her eyes were smiling: “It’s so sweet.” She leaned closer and said softly to him: “I liked to come here when I was in junior high school. Once school was over, my tablemate and I ate here. One time I ate a lot of skewers, and spent all the money I had.”

She lowered her head in embarrassment: “Later, the lady boss gave me two yuan discount so that I had the money to take the bus home.”

Ji Rang almost died of laughter.

Just listening to her memories, he thought Xiao Yingying was so cute at that time.

He squeezed a smile and touched her head: “Well, the lady boss is really nice. I want to eat more today and give her back.”

She nodded happily and then they went to the street to buy milk tea after eating Mala Tang. Which one had the most pearls, which one had the most delicious red beans, which one had the most authentic taste, was obviously a treasured memory, and it sounded like she remembered everything.

They ate her favorite foods and walked the way she once walked. He accompanied her and relived her past.

There was no him in the past, but in the future, when she recalled again, she will remember the way the boy took her hand and listened carefully to her words on this rainy night.

Ji Rang sent her back to the hotel at eleven o’clock in the middle of the night.

She was a little sleepy, dragging the corners of his clothes all the way. Ji Rang’s heart was soft and itchy, and he whispered in her ears and asked her, “Do you want brother to take you back?”

She shook her head and whispered: “I can go by myself.”

After finishing talking, she rubbed her eyes and straightened her body and cheered up.

Ji Rang laughed, knowing she was shy, after all, there were still people on the street at this time, and so he didn’t force her to send her back to the hotel room all the way.

Worried about being discovered by her uncle, he didn’t wait much, and he just watched her return to the room and close the door. He lived on the downstairs floor, and after returning to the room, he took off his wet clothes and re-dried them.

When lying in bed, he couldn’t fall asleep and kept tossing around.

As soon as he closed his eyes, the little girl’s eyes that broke his heart appeared in his mind.

He felt that he was not good enough, as he had never found that she was pretending to be strong in such a long time.

After tossing and turning for half an hour, he got up and called Yu Zhuo.

Yu Zhuo was probably asleep, and his tone was irritable when the call connected.

“Are you sick, calling so late!”

Ji Rang made his voice calm: “I wanted to ask you, was there anything unusual about your sister before?”

Yu Zhuo annoyed said again: “Are you sick!”

Ji Rang: “Do you want to be beaten? Give me a good answer!”

There was a rustling sound, like getting up from the bed, and he asked reluctantly: “What’s the abnormality? She has always been quite normal. The only abnormality is that she blindly looks at you.”

Ji Rang: “You fucking speak like this to Lao Tzu. She went back to Yancheng to worship and cried a lot this time. I am worried that she still has psychological problems.”

Yu Zhuo “Ah,” he woke up and said hesitantly, “No… She, although she was very serious before. But after she woke up after the suicide attempt, she became very calm, and even the doctor said that she was cured.”

His breathing was stagnant on the other end of the phone.

After a long time, he heard Ji Rang’s stiff voice: “What suicide attempt?”

Yu Zhuo was surprised: “Don’t you know? After my aunt and uncle had an accident, my sister tried to commit suicide by taking sleeping pills and was rescued. Maybe she even died once? She will accept it slowly.”

Ji Rang bit the tip of his tongue, and his heart hurt so much that he almost collapsed.

After a long while, he cursed in a low voice: “She accepted it, fart.”

She just hid the pain.

In order not to worry the people around her anymore.

His baby…


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11 thoughts on “TBLF Ch. 61

  1. I don’t like the whole “he’s a hero angle”. Whether it’s stupid forced Chinese nationalism or how the author’s actual views, it’s wrong. Telling someone their feelings are wrong and they shouldn’t feel like because their parents are heroes is not a good way to comfort someone.

    Liked by 11 people

  2. Aw. I think that’s why she had such a hard time. She wasn’t able to cry and complain like she did now. I’m happy that he’s there to comfort her this time. He’s so gonna go crazy after knowing about this. Lol.

    Like

  3. Well, I know that China has a strong nationalism mindset, just like Indonesia..my homeland. However in this case it doesn’t necessarily has something to do with it.
    I understand the opinion of @nightwing405 and that is correct too in my opinion.
    However, I can understand what the Male Lead tried to do.
    He might not do the right thing, but he is not a psychiatrist afterall. Apparently she was not being honest with her own doctor either…this is what I think as the core issue here, because the guardians always accompany her in her session so that she can not be honest.
    That is not right…no wonder she can’t recover well with from trauma. In fact, it is her love and personality of her pastlife which rescue the present QY.
    Make lead just didn’t want her to end up like him, become hostile to everyone.
    He himself also has a psychological problem, it is too farfetched to expect him to be able to give her a good and wise advise.
    Moreover.. Honoring their father as heroes is perse not a mistake either.
    They are still heroes and no matter what nationality they have, it is still correct that their occupation require them to put thwir responsibility first.
    When someone chose to be a police or a soldier and when a lady choose to marry them, they must know the consequence and be ready to face it too.
    That is a matter of course.
    And this has nothing to do with the grievance of the children or other family member.
    Naturally their grief and resentment are also justified, we shouldn’t blame them either.
    But the fact remains the same…
    There are many other children who are surviving and can only live well because there are those good policemen or soldiers who are dedicated in doing their duty.
    Talking about sacrifice..
    Recalling the bomb incidents in my own country few years back.
    It is really sad for the child and wives of the dead heroes at that time.
    And their resentment is really really justified.
    But without their father doing their deed, there would have been more orphans at that time.
    We should keep this in mind too.
    I think tge core of the issues here is that patients should have their privacy and guardians should not be present during counseling when the patients do not ask them to be present.
    Only thisway the psychiatrist can do the job properly.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. In my country the rights of police officers and military are very different. Police officers are given the choice whether or not they will intervene to protect someone without any legal consequence if they decide to be bystanders but military personnel are bound by law to follow others lest they risk court marital and losing what little freedom they did have so the comparison is lost on me.

    I will say people have free will and your career whatever it is should not interfere with that. Rather than paying attention to the propaganda it’s more important for her to realise her father gave his life to save his daughter. The country may have benefited but I bet his goal was to save his kidnapped family and the other stuff just happened. If I was her that’s what I would be proud of, not some meaninglessness national hero talk because real heroes have always been parents who give their all to protect their children from danger.

    Like

  5. Sorry i kniw this chapter was heartbreaking but i just cant stop laughing at Yu Zhuo he’s so freaking savage when he said “The only abnormality is that she blindly looks at you.”😂😂

    Liked by 1 person

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