Translator: SJade, Editor: Dj22031
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In the short time of a meal, Yong Ruo seemed to be possessed by a joke teller, giving full play to Liu Laolao’s entertainment spirit and telling Feng Liao many jokes about “people’s sufferings”.
For example:
After an old man’s wife died, he became more and more sloppy. The old man didn’t like to take a bath, as he thought it was troublesome. He said that taking a cold bath could easily let you catch a cold and get sick, and taking a hot bath would waste firewood; he also said that keeping this dirt on his body would help to block the cold, so why bother to wash it off? But he was a person with a strong body odour, and the result of not taking a bath was: the smell on his body could make people fall backwards, and no one dared to get within three feet of him. Once, his boy fell in love with a girl and asked him to propose marriage, but he went directly without taking a bath. The girl’s father thought he was shameful and didn’t want to be his relative, so he ridiculed him: You’d better go back and take a bath before proposing marriage! The old man went back unhappy. He wanted to take a bath before going, but he was afraid that the girl would not agree if he went again, so the bath would be in vain! He suddenly had an idea, so he found a jujube, washed it, and went to the girl’s house with it. He said: “Look, dear, I have washed a jujube, can I propose marriage now?”
“Keep the dirt on your body to keep out the wind and cold?” Feng Liao laughed so hard that tears came out, “This old man can really think! Oh, I am laughing to death!” He imitated Yong Ruo’s tone and said, “This bath is in vain! Hahahaha…”
For example:
It rained once, and someone came back with an umbrella. He was almost soaked, but the umbrella was dry. Do you know why? Because the umbrella was brand new and a good umbrella given by someone else, so he was reluctant to use it, so he held the umbrella in his arms and used his body to block the rain for the umbrella. But within a few days, this brand new umbrella was torn to pieces by a three-year-old boy at home. Not only was the umbrella torn into pieces, but the ribs were also broken. This man was so distressed! He beat the boy severely. After thinking about it, he couldn’t bear to throw away the remains of the umbrella – he had never used this umbrella! Wouldn’t it be a pity to throw it away like this? So he thought of a way. He found some bamboo strips to connect the ribs of the umbrella, and sewed the rags and clothes at home together to make an umbrella cover, which he covered on the ribs. For the next one or two years, he only used this rag umbrella. His wife thought he was embarrassing and advised him to change to a good umbrella. Others advised his wife: You should just let him use the rag umbrella! Give him a good umbrella, and he will use it to keep the rain off again!
In addition to telling jokes about other people’s families, she also told jokes about her own family.
For example:
One night, her third brother’s hand was bitten by the second brother who shared the same bed with him, and it bled. He woke up crying in pain. It turned out that a neighbour gave the third brother a bone that day. The third brother gnawed the meat clean, but he was reluctant to throw away the bone. He secretly did not wash his hands at night and secretly slept with the bone in his hand. But in the middle of the night, when he turned over, his hand, which still had a little meaty smell, accidentally rested on the second brother’s mouth. The second brother, who was hungry, smelled the faint meaty smell at the corner of his mouth and had a good dream. He dreamed that someone had stuffed a big trotter into his mouth. So he grabbed the “trotter” and opened his mouth to bite it…
The content of these jokes was generally true, but she rearranged the order of the narration and added some finishing touches to make it more dramatic and fascinating.
And in those absurdities that made people smack their tongues, there was an unspeakable bitterness.
Feng Liao rested his elbows on the table, leaning forward, looking at Yong Ruo with eyes that seemed to be shining. He had completely lost the elegant demeanour of a noble son, and instead looked like a child waiting to hear a story.
His emotions also fluctuated with Yong Ruo’s narration. He sighed, laughed, frowned, and looked sad, and he seemed to have become extremely lively.
As the sky was getting darker and darker, the number of people watching the lights on the street was sparse. An Zimo came in and reminded him, “Young Master, it’s time to go back.”
Feng Liao was startled, and slowly came back to his senses from Yong Ruo’s story, with a deep reluctance unconsciously revealed on his face.
He looked at An Zimo, the street outside the window, and Yong Ruo who was about to get up. Suddenly, his face showed a pleading look, and he said to Yong Ruo eagerly, “Today is the Lantern Festival, there is no curfew!”
Yong Ruo thought he looked a little weird, and his words were a little strange: Why, is he still reluctant to leave? Then she asked An Zimo, “What time is it?”
An Zimo said, “It’s already midnight!” He also advised Feng Liao, “Young Master, if you don’t go back, the ‘old lady’ will probably ask someone to come out to look for you. That’s not good!”
Feng Liao was silent for a moment, then he sighed deeply, his eyes swept around the table, and he said, “You ask the boss lady to bring a few food boxes, put all the remaining dishes in them, and let Miss Yong take them back.”
After that, he lowered his head and said nothing, looking very disappointed.
An Zimo hesitated a little and glanced at Yong Ruo. Seeing that she didn’t feel embarrassed, but looked very expectant, he didn’t say anything more and went out.
Yong Ruo scooped a little more soup and drank two sips slowly. She recalled Feng Liao’s appearance just now in her mind and felt that he was a little strange, but she didn’t know what was strange. Alas, if she couldn’t figure it out, she won’t think about it. Anyway, she had to get out! At this time, she was concerned about another thing…
Putting down the soup bowl, she asked carefully: “Young Master Feng, I wonder if the ten taels of silver…” You promised to give me ten taels of silver! Don’t break your promise!
Feng Liao suddenly looked up at her, first with a look of disbelief on his face, and then there was a strong emotion in his eyes that seemed like annoyance, hatred, shame, anger, and something Yong Ruo could hardly distinguish.
He snorted and said loudly: “When Zimo comes back, I will ask him to give it to you! I don’t have any silver on me!” His tone was very aggressive. After that, he turned his head to look out the window and never looked at Yong Ruo again. His two lips, which were neither thick nor thin and bright in color, were pursed hard, looking very angry.
Yong Ruo asked more carefully: “Then… where is the business card?”
Don’t break your promise! I really don’t want to lose the backer I found with great difficulty! In this era where there is power everywhere, whether or not you have a backer is often a matter of life and death!
“I didn’t bring it today, I will send it to you another day!” The tone had become even more foul.
After that, he stood up suddenly, walked to the window and stood there, facing the window without saying a word. His fingers were tightly clenched on the window sill, and his knuckles were slightly white due to excessive force.
Seeing him like this, Yong Ruo didn’t know how she had offended him.
She continued to drink the soup with her head down, thinking: He was fine just now, but he changed his face as soon as she said she was leaving! Could it be that this Young Master Feng couldn’t bear for her to leave? A strange feeling gradually arose in her heart.
After a long while, Feng Liao suddenly turned to face Yong Ruo and asked her: “Do you know why I threw the silver ingot into the water?”
Yong Ruo shook her head: “I don’t know.” Wasn’t it your prank?
Feng Liao smiled, and his smile was a little strange: “At that time, I felt that I was teased by you, and I was very angry! But you behaved very respectfully and politely, so it was inconvenient for me to get angry, so I wanted to play a trick on you as revenge. If you saw that the five taels of silver that were about to be in your hands were gone, you would be so distressed that you couldn’t sleep all night, right?”
Yong Ruo also smiled and nodded. If she hadn’t fished out the silver ingot, she would not only be unable to sleep all night, but also for many consecutive nights!
“I presented you with flowers, how can it be considered flirting?” Yong Ruo expressed her dissatisfaction.
“You are a girl, and you presented flowers to me, a man, and you also told me the story of throwing fruits into the carriage. If this is not flirting, what is it?” Feng Liao firmly defended his point of view.
Yong Ruo thought: This issue must be clarified, otherwise how can I bear the crime of “flirting with a noble young man”?
“Young man, have you ever written poems?”
“Of course I have!”
“What kind of poems have you written?”
“Landscapes, scenic spots and historical sites, love, flowers, snow and moon… probably all of them!”
“Then are you teasing the mountains and rivers, scenic spots and historical sites, romance?” Yong Ruo said seriously, “I have no talent for poetry and cannot write poems. I can only express my feelings with a plum blossom. This is the same as you writing poems. Why do you have to think too much and think of me in such a dirty way!”
“What do you want to express with the plum blossoms?”
“To express my admiration. You are so handsome, haven’t there been any girls fascinated by your face before?”
“Yes! Quite a lot. But none as bold as you. When they see me, they just blush, feel shy, and hesitate to speak. There has never been anyone as bold as you.”
“Everyone has a love for beauty. Why hide it?”
Feng Liao was silent for a moment, then looked at Yong Ruo and asked word by word: “Do you really think I am as handsome as Pan An and you love me?”
His voice was particularly gentle when he said this; the look in his eyes when he looked at her was also particularly affectionate. While waiting for her answer, he seemed to hold his breath, looking very nervous…
Yong Ruo’s heart suddenly jumped, as if she had been enlightened, and she immediately found an explanation for his weirdness: No way? Is this Mr. Feng serious about me! Is he forcing me to confess!
Yong Ruo thought: Judging from the pomp and circumstance shown by Mr. Feng, his family must be very high, and there is no way he can marry me as his wife! Is he forcing me to confess in order to make me his concubine? She sneered in her heart: Tsk!
But at this moment, she couldn’t swallow back all the words she had just said, otherwise Mr. Feng would really turn against her!
Her mind raced, and she quickly came up with a countermeasure, and then she said solemnly: “Of course it is true. Although I was born in poverty, I admire the beauty of all things in the world. The character of plum blossoms, the fragrance of orchids, the purity of lotus flowers, the integrity of chrysanthemums… I love everything. Even the vast white snow, the curling smoke, the faint fragrant grass, the spring breeze, the crowing of chickens and the barking of dogs, the morning dew and the sunset… I also think that each has its own beauty, and I feel happy when I see it. Man is the spirit of all things, and you are the dragon and phoenix among humans, how can I not love you?” Chicken soup, drink it up without hesitation! Try to make this noble man faint so that you can get away!
Feng Liao stared at her straight, and gradually revealed a look of suspicion and disappointment in his eyes.
Yong Ruo looked at him bravely and kept smiling, without any guilt or shyness.
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