TK Ch. 6: Examination

Translator: Dj22031

Editor: Dj22031

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The afternoon sun was just right, so Bai Ze decided to take the children to the yard to bask in the sun and learn how to meditate by the way.

A long time ago, when Bai Ze was still a little furball, he still couldn’t transform into a human body, even after he had accumulated a lot of immortal power in his body. It wasn’t until he learned to meditate, concentrate his mind, and gather the immortal power together that he slowly learned to change form.

Now these immortals had become smaller in stature, it was perhaps similar to his previous condition. Because the power of reincarnation weakened their immortal power, maybe it made it difficult for them to maintain a normal figure, and those few immortal powers were scattered in every corner of their body. If they learnt Bai Ze’s method of transforming form and gathering the immortal power, maybe they could change back.

“This makes sense.” Fuli Tianzun listened carefully to Bai Ze’s words and nodded slightly. The vast immortal power in his body was really running low, and it was scattered in the tendons and veins and it was difficult to gather.

The pleasant sunshine was warm, which was an irresistible temptation for Bai Ze. Anyway, he could also speak in the animal form, so Bai Ze turned back to his original form, and spread his limbs while lying down in the spacious courtyard of Yuqing Palace.

Sitting cross-legged against Bai Ze, Fu Li lightly closed his eyes, trying to feel the method of Bai Ze’s transformation: “Where do you want us to gather the immortal power?” The clear and moving voice, with the unique softness of a child, made Bai Ze feel comfortable and he couldn’t help wagging his tail quietly.

“The immortal power you can accumulate now may not be enough to change form. Wherever you want to make it bigger, you can concentrate it there.” Bai Ze gathered his forelegs and circled the little Fuli Tianzun between his two big claws. Fu Li didn’t seem to notice Bai Ze’s movements, but still closed his eyes and meditated earnestly.

The immortal power moved through the tendons and he slowly gathered them in the palm of his hand. The hands were joined up and down, and the misty blue light was flowing in the palms. The pink and white short hands seemed to have changed in a trance, but after a moment of time, they returned to the original point. Unconvinced, Fu Li raised his hand, gathered his immortal power again, and tried again.

Bai Ze looked at Tianzun’s pink and tender face, which had the luster of fine porcelain under the sun, while his brows were cold and solemn, this made his paws itch. He slowly Laojun who was digging bamboo shoots in the bamboo forest rushed out and slammed into Bai Ze’s fur.

“Roar——” Bai Ze was startled, and yelled, shut up halfway through the yelling, glared at Laojun, and said in a low voice, “Stop making noise, what are you doing?”

“Look what I dug up! ” Laojun walked around in front of Bai Ze enthusiastically, showing him the bamboo shoots in his clothes. The fresh and tender bamboo shoots looked crisp and delicious, Bai Ze turned his head and put them in his mouth, chewing them.

“Hey!” Laojun quit moving immediately and raised his hand to grab the bamboo shoots, “I want to use them to make alchemy!”

Bai Ze glanced at him, what kind of alchemy would he do with bamboo shoots? Bamboo-flavored jelly beans…

Laojun climbed onto Bai Ze’s body, trying to reason with him. The thick fur was warmed by the sun and was also soft. Laojun climbed up and lay still in the fur.

“Don’t make trouble, you see Tianzun is meditating to transform back, you try too.” Bai Ze turned his head and said to the old gentleman on his back.

“Try it.” Laojun took out the alchemy furnace, placed it on Bai Ze’s head, sat cross-legged, made a Tai Chi diagram[1] with his palms, and then joined them in front of his dantian[2].

Bai Ze propped his chin with one paw, pressed against the alchemy furnace on his head, watched with relish, and thought that this little guy’s moves were quite decent, he was worthy of being the Taishang Laojun.

Laojun closed his eyes and held his breath for a while. As the breeze blew, the broken hair on Fu Li’s forehead slowly drifted with the wind, and Bai Ze’s fur was blown out in waves, and the ashes in the alchemy furnace also scattered, dirtying the hair on Bai Ze’s head. Bai Ze sneezed, but afraid of disturbing Fu Li, he could only support his head and let the ashes of the pesky pill furnace float around him.

Fu Li remained unmoved, still earnestly comprehending, then he gradually wrapped a pair of small hands in a hazy blue light. Bai Ze didn’t dare to take a deep breath, and quietly turned his head to see what progress Laojun had made. As soon as he turned around, he saw that Laojun, who was supposed to be meditating, had already plunged into his fur, with his butt in the air, and had fallen fast asleep.

Li Jing rode over on a piece of bamboo and saw that Laojun was asleep, so he dropped the bamboo horse, grabbed Bai Ze’s fur and climbed up, bouncing around Laojun: “Get up, let’s play horseback riding.”

Laojun ignored him, he just turned over and continued snoring. Li Jing climbed onto Laojun’s body and shook him but couldn’t help yawning himself. Not long after, Li Jing put his head against Laojun and fell asleep.

Bai Ze sighed, knowing that these little guys couldn’t be counted on. Turning his head to look at Fu Li who was still working hard, he couldn’t help but feel admiration, even if he became a child, Fu Li was still the most determined one.

Gently placing his chin on his front paws, Bai Ze looked at Fu Li’s profile and yawned.

Fu Li slowly opened his eyes, looked at his unchanged hands, and frowned slightly.

“This is just an idea of mine, and it may not be useful. You have to explore it slowly,” Bai Ze comforted softly. Seeing that Tianzun was still looking sullen, he scratched his chin with his paw and thought about it, “That…do you want to come up to sleep?” His fur was very warm, the sun was just right at this moment, and the two guys had already fallen asleep in it unconsciously.

Fu Li glanced disdainfully at the two ignorant guys sleeping among his fur, “Childish.” After speaking, he turned his head and continued to meditate with his eyes closed.

Bai Ze blinked, yawned again, stretched his paws forward, put his head on the front paws, and looked up at the flowing clouds in the sky. As it was the thirty-third level of heaven, here in Yuqing Palace, you could still see a layer of clouds. It was just that today’s clouds seemed a little strange.

“Fu Li, I think the clouds today look like sweet-scented osmanthus cakes…” Bai Ze sighed, and quietly looked at Tianzun with one eye, but the other party didn’t pay him any attention at all. Bai Ze smacked his lips for fun, continued to stare at the pastry-like clouds, and then closed his eyes.

The immortal power all over his body was gathered together as he joined his hands, Fu Li paused for a moment, then pushed the immortal power from his right hand to his left. At this moment, there was finally a reaction, that white and tender little hand gradually elongated, turning into a well-proportioned, slender, big hand with well-defined joints.

Fu Li suddenly opened his eyes, looked at the hand, turned his head to share it with Bai Ze, but found that the guy had already fallen asleep. On his head was an alchemy furnace the size of a censer[3], and on his back were two sprawled children, with his three long beards messed up, just touching Fu Li’s ears. No wonder his ears felt itchy all the time.

Fu Li withdrew his immortal power, and his hands returned to their original state. He rubbed his itchy ears and stood up. Because he had been in the sun for a long time, there was a warm sunshine smell in his fur, which was very pleasant and attractive. Looking left and right, seeing there was no one around, Fu Li pondered for a moment, then slowly climbed up Bai Ze’s back, all the way up to his neck, then he raised his hand to take off the alchemy furnace, and stuffed it into Laojun’s arms.

Laojun was sleeping soundly with his mouth open, and when he felt something in his arms, he hugged it tightly subconsciously, smacked his lips, turned over and continued to sleep.

Fu Li leaned on the back of Bai Ze’s head, looking up at the sky. Today’s clouds were indeed a bit unusual, some were like pastries, some were like candies, and some were even like chicken legs. Rubbing the warm fur against the side of his face, Fu Li narrowed his eyes comfortably, um, let’s sleep for a little while before they wake up, just for a little while.

When the Jade Emperor came, he saw this scene. The principal of the kindergarten, Bai Ze Shengjun, after irresponsibly changing into his original form, was sleeping with his limbs spread out in the yard, his hair warm and his feet soft. And the students in the kindergarten had all climbed onto the body of the teacher, what a shame!

“Ahem!” The Jade Emperor coughed twice, waking up Bai Ze, who was in the midst of a good dream.

“Huh? Jade Emperor!” Bai Ze raised his head abruptly, and Laojun, who was sleeping on his back, rolled down, and the alchemy furnace in his arms fell to the ground with a tinkling clang, and slid to the Jade Emperor’s feet.

Laojun got up and rubbed his sore buttocks. Li Jing was still snoring and couldn’t be woken up no matter what. Tianzun slid down Bai Ze’s fur, brushed off the hem of his clothes, and raised his chin to look at the Jade Emperor: “What’s the matter?”

“I asked you to open a kindergarten to teach them skills, not to take them to the sun for sleeping!” The Jade Emperor blew on his beard, and a chubby hand stretching out from his bosom caught and tugged his long beard, “Hiss—be good, don’t pull my beard!”

“Fluffy! I want to play with the fluffy!” The sweet and glutinous voice came out, and everyone noticed that the Jade Emperor was still holding a little girl in his arms. The little girl was wearing a fairy dress made of phoenix feathers, was surrounded by shining golden light, and she wore a nine-phoenix pearl hairpin on her head, giving her a noble look. There was a little cinnabar mole between her eyebrows, and red and phoenix flowers were painted around it. It was the wife of the Jade Emperor, the Queen Mother[4]!

“No!” The Jade Emperor refused without thinking, it was Bai Ze who she was calling Fluffy, and Bai Ze was a big man in human form.

“Woo… I want fluffy, fluffy!” The Queen Mother refused immediately, grabbing the Jade Emperor’s beard and crying loudly, then big teardrops rolled down her cheeks, soaking the golden phoenix robe.

The Jade Emperor had no choice but to bite the bullet and put his wife on Bai Ze’s back. After touching the soft fur, the Queen Mother stopped crying immediately, buried her face in it and wiped the snot from her nose. She smiled after breaking through the tears, grabbed a few strands of long fur, and began to braid it.

Bai Ze opened his mouth and looked at the Jade Emperor with a look of lovelessness.

The Jade Emperor was a little embarrassed, so he coughed dryly, and tried to restore his previous majesty: “I came to see your teaching results, and it doesn’t look very good now.”

“Kindergarten is for coaxing children.” He said, while pushing the ears, carefully controlling the braiding Queen Mother and the snoring Li Jing to prevent them from falling.

“They’re not really children!” The Jade Emperor pointed at Fu Li who had been staring at him, then withdrew his fingers guiltily and put his hand behind his back, “The situation is critical now, you have three days to remind them of their responsibilities, so at least they can go up to fool others.”

Their duty… Bai Ze turned his head to look at the Queen Mother who was braiding his fur, and then at the impatient Jade Emperor, his eyes widening in horror. Wasn’t the Queen Mother’s duty, being the Jade Emperor’s wife? “Such a small child, you can do it?”

Bai Ze’s eyes were already very big, and they were usually wet and moist. At this moment, they were filled with a look called contempt, which was about to overflow.

The Jade Emperor choked on his saliva and almost vomited blood. He jumped up in a rage and said, “Am I such a beast? I want the Queen Mother to remember the correct way to urge the fairies to work. Haven’t you seen what has happened to the clouds?” The Jade Emperor pointed to the chicken-leg-shaped clouds above his head, and asked Bai Ze to see for himself. Was this plausible? Was it plausible?

Bai Ze fluttered his ears, it was indeed… outrageous.

If the Tathagata of the Western Paradise[5] suddenly visited and started chatting with the Jade Emperor, “The clouds in the heaven are so unique!” What would the Jade Emperor say? Could it be that: “Ah, yes, that is a special product of the Heavenly Court, the Liangyi Hunyuan chicken leg cloud!”

The Jade Emperor flung his sleeves and left, but Bai Ze had fallen into deep melancholy. Three days later, the Jade Emperor would come to test the results, that was to say, he had to teach these children their previous skills within three days!

Just as he became a teacher, his students were going to take the imperial examination, life was really difficult!

The author has something to say:

Small theater:

Jade Emperor: Do I look like a beast?

Laojun: like

Li Jing: like

Bai Ze: like

Fu Li: not like

The Jade Emperor: It’s still Tianzun who is just!

Fu Li: It is the same

Jade Emperor: …

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[2] Dantian, or dan tian, translates from Chinese to mean “field of elixir.” It describes what’s believed by some to be the seat of life force energy in the body.


A container in which incense is burnt during a religious ceremony.

[4] Queen Mother of the West is the powerful Chinese goddess married to the Jade Emperor, who tends to the Peaches of Immortality. Originally a demonic figure, she repented and achieved enlightenment, and presides over life and death.

[5] A heavenly realm brimming with Buddhist deities and framed by towering pagodas.

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