S&E Ch. 5

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Shuang Yi had a very powerful watermelon knife with a length of more than a foot, and the blade was curved like a horn, shimmering with cold light, and very sharp. 

Speaking of the origin of this knife, it went back three years. At that time, Shuang Yi first arrived in city B, and as soon as she rented a cheap house, thieves started breaking into houses in the old community, and the thief was very dedicated in stealing from the building in which Shuang Yi lived. After all the neighbors were attacked, Shuang Yi decisively bought the knife at the roadside stall for 20 yuan and brought it back. However, she just walked downstairs with the knife and heard the aunts arguing and saying that the thief was caught…

So, this knife had never come in handy, and Shuang Yi had forgotten it after throwing it in the corner for a long time. Now she is going to move to Zhou Ningxu’s house and is organizing her things before giving up the key to the house.

How to deal with this knife? Shuang Yi squatted beside the box worried. 

If she takes it, it doesn’t seem to be of much use, and what if Zhou Ning Xu saw it and thought she was going to kill someone? But if she throws it away, it is inappropriate, in case someone picks it up—and uses it to do bad things—anyway—there are her fingerprints on the knife…Uh…”

Take it, Shuang Yi made up his mind.

So, the watermelon knife was pressed under some things in a box and brought to Zhou’s house.

On the third day of cohabitation, Zhou Ningxu brought a watermelon home after work at the request of Shuang Yi. Zhou Ningxu had done no research on watermelons, so he didn’t know how to judge and pick a good one. So, he picked a super big watermelon with a perfect curve and went back.

After returning home, he went to the study to answer the phone. Shuang Yi stared at the huge watermelon on the ground in a cold sweat for a while and ran to Zhou Ningxu’s kitchen to find a knife. She looked for it but couldn’t find it. She started feeling depressed. Suddenly, Shuang Yi remembered that she has a knife! Fortunately, she didn’t throw it away.

She cut the watermelon all up. 

When Zhou Ningxu finished answering the phone and came out of the study, the watermelon had been cut into even small pieces and arranged neatly on the table. 

However, this was not the focus. The focus was why such an exaggerated knife suddenly appeared on the coffee table. 

“Where did this knife come from?”

“I bought it” said Shuang Yi who was gnawing on the watermelon and couldn’t speak clearly.

“What did you buy it for?” 

“Well… self-defense.” Shuang Yi answered casually.

It was bought for self-defense three years ago. But it did not sound that way in Zhou Ningxu’s ears. Self-defense? And it seemed to be taken out of the bedroom. Zhou Ningxu raised his eyebrows slightly and understood. 

He nodded, sat down beside her, and ate the watermelon leisurely. Shuang Yi ate fast. After gnawing the nth slice of watermelon, she tidily cleaned the table, wiped the knife and planned to put the knife back in the bedroom.

Zhou Ningxu, who had been eating watermelon silently, spoke, “Give me the knife.”

This left Shuang Yi in a daze. “The knife? What do you want it for? Zhou Ningxu smiled and said leisurely: “Self-defense.”

Shanshan Shuang Yi Small Theater

Shuang Yi was lazing away the morning of the nth day at Ningning’s house.

Boss is the greatest (Shanshan’s QQ ID): You are actually living with someone! 

Suitable for eating and sleeping: This is just a pure place to live! I’m good at paying the rent. By the way, don’t tell my parents about this, and neither your parents. 

Boss is the greatest: I see, but Shuang Yi… You are actually living with someone else! 

Suitable for eating and sleeping:…Can you put it in other words? Besides, it’s okay even if we live together. You have been married for three years, and it is only natural for me to find a man to live with.

Boss is the greatest: Don’t say it is because of me…

Suitable for eating and sleeping: I suddenly remembered that before marriage, your QQ was called “Sleep after playing boss”, and after marriage, your QQ suddenly changed to “Boss is the greatest”…

Boss is the greatest: 5555[1], once he saw me chatting with you…

Suitable to eat and sleep: ~~>__________

The boss is the greatest: That… 

Suitable to Eat and sleep: ????

Boss is the Greatest: Are you really pure?

Suitable to Eat and Sleep (black lines on her face): Nonsense, I’m a traditional type, OK? Look at the novels I wrote, the heroes and heroines are very traditional.

Boss is the Greatest: @_@ not Ueben[2].

Suitable to Eat and Sleep: Hey, yes, but the heroine went to the wrong room, it was an accident. 

Boss is the greatest: _, neither is Shang Shangben. 

Suitable for eating and sleeping: …It was an accident caused by the actor accidentally eating an aphrodisiac. 

Boss is the greatest: _, Shang Shang Shang Ben is not….

Suitable for eating and sleeping: … That was the heroine who consumed aphrodisiac… by accident…

Boss is the greatest: _, Shang Shang Shang Shang Ben seems to be also It’s not…

Suitable to Eat and sleep: Stop! Anyway! If there is no accident, I am a traditional one! 

Boss is the greatest: …

Suitable for eating and sleeping: What are you doing? 

Suitable to Eat and sleep: Nothing. What about you? 

Boss is the greatest: I just answered the boss’ call, I am going to dinner = =

Suitable to Eat and sleep: 88[3]

Boss is the greatest: Beware of accidents…


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[1] Crying and wailing sound.

[2] Presumably name of a heroine from Shuang Yi’s novels.

[3] Good Luck in Chinese.

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