Translator: Dj2203
Editor: Dj2203
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Yan Han asked Lin Jianlu when he had started liking him, and Lin Jianlu honestly replied, “Do you want to know when I became aware of liking you a lot? Probably around summer vacation.”
“…What do you mean by ‘aware of liking you a lot’?”
“I liked you before I was sure I liked you, but it took time to confirm it.”
“…”
Okay, Brother Lin always does things like a scholar, rigorous and pragmatic, even his own feelings need to be confirmed several times before he confesses…
Wait.
“So was it the first half or the second half of summer vacation? I remember we didn’t contact each other very frequently in the second half?”
Lin Jianlu said, “I was confirming it during that time.”
“…”
The older brother was curious: “How did you confirm it?”
“I tried not to contact you.” The other person lowered his eyes slightly, avoiding his gaze, and a rare blush appeared on his face, “I tried not to think about you, I tried to live a life without you.”
“…”
“And then I realized I couldn’t live without you.”
As he said this, Lin Jianlu turned his gaze back, looking directly at him.
He’d read in a book that exposing one’s eyes to another was a sign of honesty and respect when speaking earnestly to a loved one.
He hoped Yan Han could feel his sincerity.
For nearly a month during the latter part of summer vacation, he didn’t contact him, living alone, mainly trying to eliminate the dependence and habit this person had created within him.
After all, the other was the kind of person who was dazzlingly bright, someone you wouldn’t feel disgusted by touching.
In fact, his longing to touch him hadn’t been a recent thing; Lin Jianlu wasn’t sure if that “longing” stemmed from a dependence akin to skin hunger or something that could truly be called love.
“Later I found that even if I forgot what it felt like to touch you, I would still think of you…thinking of you every day.”
“…So you’re sure you like me?”
After seeing Lin Jianlu nod, Yan Han, braving the impending crisis of going bald, continued scratching his head.
This is fu**ing ridiculous.
This is fu**ing ridiculous…!
He could only say, as expected of Lin Jianlu.
So meticulous and responsible— only Lin Jianlu could do this!
Seeing his brother like this left him unsure what to do.
Normally, such a handsome guy confessing his feelings to him and moving him so deeply would make him want to say yes.
His heart had never wavered for anyone over the years, but because the other person was Lin Jianlu… Whether it was their relationship, or Lin Jianlu’s looks and talent, Lin Jianlu’s heartfelt confession almost made Yan Han agree without hesitation.
But because it was Lin Jianlu, who treated him so seriously… he hesitated.
First of all, Yan Han didn’t know if he truly liked Lin Jianlu.
Although he was single, and although there had been a fleeting attraction that turned out to be a misunderstanding— that Lin Jianlu wasn’t gay and didn’t like him— he wasn’t so pathetic as to fall for every guy who confessed to him.
Moreover, the older brother had always maintained a proper attitude, treating Lin Jianlu like a brother.
During the latter half of summer vacation, he occasionally thought of Lin Jianlu, but since he wasn’t really thinking about him at the time, Yan Han couldn’t say whether those thoughts were actually longing.
Of course, aside from that, there was a deeper, more important reason…
He wasn’t even sure if he could complete his mission in this world. Maybe after the college entrance exam, he’d be sent back to his original world. He’d barely been in this world for two years. How could he be so selfish?
People say “live for today,” and these days, few young couples stay together from the beginning. Even celebrities often break up and divorce, so there’s no need to overthink it.
But the strange thing was, Yan Han knew that if they switched places, if Lin Jianlu were in his current situation, he would definitely consider these things.
So, he couldn’t allow himself to be an irresponsible person.
They say first love is the most unforgettable.
Yan Han thought about it, and decided that someone like him, whose fate was uncertain, shouldn’t ruin someone else’s life.
Anyway, they’d be separated into different classes next week. He thought, he and Lin Jianlu would be separated soon, so why not just leave it at that?
Perhaps this was fate.
Yan Han stopped rubbing his hair and tried to say, “Um… how about we try another method?”
As soon as he finished speaking, Lin Jianlu’s eyes darkened, and he stared intently at him, his lips pursed.
Feeling extremely uncomfortable under his gaze, Yan Han straightened up, trying to appear as proper as possible: “Ah, it’s like this… mainly because I don’t think dating is appropriate before graduating high school.”
Usually, when he lied or joked, he was quick to respond, but now the older brother’s words were somewhat incoherent.
Yan Han almost wanted to slap himself.
He finally understood why some melodramatic TV dramas’ protagonists would rather say hurtful things and drive others away than reveal the truth.
For example, in his current situation, he was in a real bind!
If he told him that he didn’t agree because he was worried about failing his mission and dying one day, Lin Jianlu would definitely say it was okay, he didn’t mind, and that would be meaningless.
But if he said he rejected him because he wasn’t sure if he liked him… then Lin Jianlu would have a hundred ways to test whether he liked him or not.
Yan Han had no doubt about that, so it was pointless to say anything.
So how could he reject the other person tactfully without hurting their feelings?
If it were anyone else, he would simply be indifferent, and then he would forget about it and the matter would be over.
But with Lin Jianlu… the other person’s tall figure cast a shadow on him, and because the other person was backlit, Yan Han suddenly couldn’t see the other person’s expression clearly.
…Because he couldn’t interact with outsiders, Lin Jianlu had already suffered greatly from loneliness, he clearly knew that!
The other person had once let him into his heart.
He really couldn’t bear to say anything that would hurt him.
But despite his inner turmoil, Yan Han forced himself to finish speaking, “Uh… you should understand what I mean, right?”
“Is that the reason?” Compared to his previous deep tone, Lin Jianlu seemed much better after hearing Yan Han’s reason for rejecting him.
He said, “Then I can wait.”
“I can wait for you until graduation.”
He even curled his lips slightly as he said this.
Yan Han: “…Okay.”
…If he’s lucky enough to survive after graduation, then everything will be fine.
Regardless, Yan Han breathed a sigh of relief. He couldn’t dwell on it anymore; he simply didn’t have the talent or intelligence for this.
“Then…until then, let’s pretend today’s events never happened…”
“I’ll be good to you.”
Before he could finish, Lin Jianlu interrupted him: “Consider it a reservation; you’ll be with me after graduation.”
“…”
Wait, why does this feel so much like marrying a child bride?!
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