Translator: Dj22031
Editor: Dj22031
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Jiang Lan and Aunt Xu made an appointment to meet at Yuwan Plaza at 6:30 pm.
Yuwan Plaza was a leisure square near Yuwan Community. In addition to the square, there were various pavilions and sports equipment available here. Every evening, people from nearby communities came to relax in this square.
Of course, there were also many square dance troupes as the main force in entertainment activities.
The members of Aunt Xu’s dance troupe were basically residents of Yuwan Community. There were nearly 40 permanent members, not to mention the people who joined in to dance along. The dance troupe was not small. Before the dispute, it was this dance group that exclusively occupied the C position in the middle of the square.
According to Aunt Xu, the other dance group that had a dispute with them was a resident of Chunjing Yuan, another relatively high-end new community nearby. Of course, Chunjing Yuan also had a supporting activity square, but the residents there were probably elites, and there were not many people who liked square dancing, so the dance troupe only had about ten people. And because they danced in the community and disturbed the public, they were reported anonymously by residents. After property mediation, they moved to Yuwan Plaza.
So Yuwan Square now had two dance groups.
The venue of Yuwan Plaza was not small, and originally the two dance groups could live in harmony. Until this week, as the new dance troupe was not satisfied that Aunt Xu’s dance troupe always occupied a good position so they proposed a competition. At that time, whichever dance troupe danced well would get the middle position of the good venue.
Aunt Xu said that this was a battle for the C position.
Originally she was not timid, but the other party’s lead dancer seemed to be a professional dancer, and several of their members danced very professionally. Aunt Xu’s side was all amateur dancers, so this involved unfair competition.
Aunt Xu thus rejected the other party’s unreasonable request on the grounds of unfairness.
After that, the other lead dancer came to her several times, and finally she even conjured up nine heads to intimidate her. Aunt Xu then went to the street office in anger.
Jiang Lan carried his bag and walked to Yuwan Square. As he walked, he was thinking: Were these nine heads transformed by magic, or was it a demon that had revealed its true form?
But was there really a demon who liked square dancing so much?
The thoughtful Jiang Lan had arrived at Yuwan Square. Aunt Xu was already here in the square with people and equipment, and there was obviously another group of people opposite them, with a total of three people. The leader was a bright and charming woman. Judging from her figure and appearance, she seemed to be about thirty to forty years old. The woman was dressed fashionably, had on exquisite makeup, and had big wavy hair which hung casually around her waist. But her expression was rather domineering.
Aunt Xu was arguing with the other party. When she saw Jiang Lan, she quickly pulled him over and said, “Look, little comrade, if I hadn’t been careful and came early, they would have been ready to steal the show! Who are you trying to beat by dressing up like this? She looks like a human being, but she has no quality at all!”
The woman became angry and raised her long eyebrows: “Who do you think has no quality?!”
Aunt Xu was also a sharp-tongued person. She took advantage of the situation and refused to be outdone. She said, “I’m talking to whoever answers the question! You are so qualified but you don’t know who comes first? Are you so qualified so you secretly brought people to occupy the space?! I’m bah!!”
The woman’s chest heaved with anger, and she said angrily: “You think I want to come here?!”
Aunt Xu: “Oh, then you are really condescending by coming here! Why do you still think that Yuwan Plaza is not worthy of your noble status? If you can, go back to your own community. Don’t think that we don’t know that you were reported for being a nuisance in the community, right? I said people like you have no quality!”
Jiang Lan: ……
He looked at Aunt Xu and then at the blushing woman, silently shrinking his shoulders.
He had nothing to do here at all.
After being scolded by Aunt Xu, the woman suppressed her anger and sneered: “Let’s be honest, how much will it cost for you to give up your position?”
Aunt Xu immediately looked at Jiang Lan and said angrily: “Comrade, please tell me, who are these people? They just want to throw money at people even if they don’t make sense. What’s wrong? Do I lack your few dollars? If you have money, then see if you have the ability to buy the entire Yuwan Plaza. If you buy it, can’t you just dance wherever you want? We will never compete with you!”
Jiang Lan smiled awkwardly and politely.
And dared not speak out.
He felt that the quarreling aunt was much scarier than the monster.
The woman obviously felt that Aunt Xu was too eloquent. So, she was silent for a moment and asked, “If I buy the square, the middle position will be mine?”
Aunt Xu: ???
She turned to look at Jiang Lan: “Comrade, this square was built by the government. She can’t buy it, right?”
Now she could see that this person was probably a rich person. She was used to being domineering, but she still had to fight for the C position when dancing in the square!
Several pairs of eyes immediately stared at Jiang Lan. Jiang Lan kept smiling, cleared his throat, and tried to mediate: “This square is so big, wouldn’t it be just right for each of you to occupy half of it? There is no need to fight, why not just get along harmoniously.”
The woman sneered and raised her head arrogantly: “How can I, the great Nine Phoenix[1], be on the sidelines? I want this place in the middle!”
Aunt Xu couldn’t help it anymore: “You are still named Jiufeng? Is Jiufeng very fashionable? My retired people’s teacher was not as arrogant as you!”
Jiang Lan felt something sounded familiar when he heard the name Jiufeng, but before giving him time to recall, he saw Nine Phoenix suddenly suppress her smile and say with a stern face: “Don’t refuse the toast only to drink a forfeit[2].”
Aunt Xu: “What’s wrong? Do you still want to hit someone? If you dare to do it, I will call the police!”
Jiang Lan: ……
He had no experience in dealing with such disputes. He was trying hard to turn his head and think about how to turn their hostility into friendship, when he saw Nine Phoenix suddenly raise her hand, and the surroundings suddenly became quiet.
It was a barrier.
Jiang Lan observed the surroundings calmly. Looking from the inside out, he could still see the traffic and people on the road, but if someone looked in from the outside, he probably wouldn’t be able to see a few of them.
Aunt Xu didn’t notice this at all, and she still wanted to argue with Nine Phoenix.
Nine Phoenix lowered her head and looked down at her, and her voice seemed to have a strange rhythm: “Give me the space in the middle.”
Aunt Xu: “No!”
Nine Phoenix didn’t seem to expect that she could still refuse and stared at her deeper. On both sides of her neck, the phantom of eight heads vaguely appeared: “Give me the space in the middle.”
Jiang Lan looked at the eight extra heads and finally dug out Nine Phoenix from his long memory.
It had a human face, a bird body, and nine heads, which was the Nine Phoenix and a pagan god.
In ancient times, there was no distinction between humans and gods. In order to survive, weak humans would regard humans who were close to gods or those who did not kill indiscriminately as gods. They would offer sacrifices every year and pray to these gods to protect the humans.
Nine Phoenix was also one of these enshrined gods.
Jiang Lan met her before he was taken back to the Dragon Palace. At that time, he was very hungry and wanted to eat everything. After meeting Nine Phoenix on a narrow road in the wasteland, the two naturally had a fight. He bit off Nine Phoenix’s tail feathers, and Nine Phoenix almost broke off his horn. No one was left behind.
Jiang Lan looked at Nine Phoenix calmly, thinking that fortunately he was in human form now and Nine Phoenix couldn’t recognize him.
It was natural instinct for demons to restrain their aura, especially big demons were better at this. Unless you actively expose yourself, no one could tell who you were when you were in the human form.
Nine Phoenix was still trying hard to perform illusions on Aunt Xu, but unfortunately she was really not good at illusions, and Aunt Xu was very persistent about the venue, so she could not succeed.
Aunt Xu said “ok” after a while, then said “no” for a while and jumped back and forth between the two.
Nine Phoenix’s expression became visibly irritable, and she said to the younger sister who was following her: “Go and find me someone who is good at illusion! I don’t believe that I can’t handle her.”
After speaking, she glanced at Jiang Lan, then took time out and said, “You didn’t see anything.”
There seemed to be stars and universe flowing in her eyes.
However, Jiang Lan did not lose consciousness as she wished. Instead, he stepped forward and stopped her: “Article 31 of the “Code of Monsters”: You must not use magic on humans without reason. If you don’t stop, I will have to report you to the bureau. Points will be deducted when the time comes.”
Every demon registered with the Demon Management Bureau had an ID card, and there was a chip in the ID card. In addition to basic information, the chip also contained one hundred original points. Points were calculated on a ten-year cycle. If a monster violated the rules of the monster within ten years, points would be deducted, the quantum depending on the situation. If more than half of the points were deducted in ten years, you would have to undergo one-year training. If all the points were deducted, not only would they have to undergo re-education, but you would also be banned from living in human cities, until the points system started counting again in the next ten years.
When Nine Phoenix heard this, she stopped moving and looked at Jiang Lan in horror: “Aren’t you from the street office?”
Her expression clearly said: Damn, now the street office has also been infiltrated by the Demon Management Bureau?
Jiang Lan put on an innocent look: “Yes, I am a clerk at the street office. Aunt Xu asked me to mediate the dispute over the venue.”
Nine Phoenix looked hopeless: “Okay, okay, I won’t fight for the venue. Don’t report it to the bureau. I only have ten points left.”
“…”
Ninety points were deducted and only ten points were left, which was also very impressive.
Jiang Lan thought that after so many years, Taotie had become a good citizen, why had Nine Phoenix’s bad temper not changed at all?
He remembered when he bit Nine Phoenix’s tail feathers bare, Nine Phoenix chased him crazily and beat him for two months. Fortunately, Nine Phoenix couldn’t defeat him, otherwise he might be a hornless Taotie now.
Jiang Lan trembled at this terrible thought and said, “It’s okay not to report it, but you have to communicate with Aunt Xu. Your dance troupe only has about ten people. Isn’t it a waste of resources to occupy the largest space in the middle?”
Nine Phoenix raised her chin: “The human race has worshiped me for thousands of years, and now I can’t even have a C position in the square?”
Jiang Lan tried his best to reason with her: “In modern society now, it’s first come, first served. Even the big demons have to queue up.”
Nine Phoenix: “When I buy Yuwan Plaza, I won’t have to queue up.”
Jiang Lan: “I will report you if you do this again.”
Nine Phoenix was frightened: “Let’s line up, line up.”
After saying that, she was unhappy and turned with her eight heads staring at Jiang Lan: “If you threaten me with this again, I’ll eat you.”
Jiang Lan was unmoved: “Threatening the staff is a very big starting point.”
Nine Phoenix: Grass mud horse[3].
“I was wrong, little brother, please leave quickly.”
She took the initiative to remove the barrier.
Jiang Lan, however, was as steady as the Dinghai Shenzhen[4]. He didn’t move at all and insisted: “I can’t leave until the dispute between you and Aunt Xu is resolved.”
Nine Phoenix had a smile on her face but felt mmp[5] in her heart.
At this time Aunt Xu also came to her senses and echoed: “Yes, the dispute has not been resolved yet. Where did I just say it?”
Jiang Lan looked at Aunt Xu comfortingly and said, “Ms. Jiufeng has realized her mistake and is not going to compete with you.”
Aunt Xu was stunned and looked at Nine Phoenix suspiciously: “When did you admit your mistake? Why don’t I have any impression?”
“Just now.” Jiang Lan looked at Nine Phoenix and said with a smile, “Right?”
Nine Phoenix gritted her teeth and glared at this little demon who was not afraid of death and spat out words through her teeth: “Yes, I have realized my mistake, and I should not bully others. This is still your place.”
Aunt Xu was very generous. When she heard this, she immediately beamed with joy: “Hey, if you had this kind of awareness earlier, I wouldn’t have to make such a fuss, right? Then we are still in the middle today, and you are right next to us, right?”
Nine Phoenix nodded reluctantly.
Aunt Xu happily praised Jiang Lan and said, “Sure enough, little comrade has his own tricks and knows how to mediate. I will give you a banner some other time.”
Jiang Lan quickly said no, but Aunt Xu was very firm and said she wanted to do it.
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[1] The nine-headed bird, also called the “Nine Phoenix” is one of the earliest forms of the fenghuang, worshipped by ancient natives in Hubei Province, which during the Warring States period was part of the kingdom of Chu.
[2] to hesitate to do something until forced to do even more.
[3] The Grass Mud Horse is a Chinese Internet meme and kuso parody based on a word play of the Mandarin profanity cào nǐ mā, which literally means “f**k your mother”.
Tourist attraction in China
[5] Cursing someone.